Diary - Last night, I talked about my former colleague

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Last night, I talked about my former colleague John's death with another former colleague Lily. She said life is unpredictable. Her dad got lung cancer two years ago. Recently, his doctor said he can't be cured because the cancer's become terminal, and therefore the doctor's referred him to palliative care. Lily must be very upset. She hopes that she can spend more time with her dad in the last journey of his life.

 

[teechar]

Put a comma after "therefore", and change the word "journey".

 

[Maybo]

Last night, I talked about my former colleague John's death with another former colleague Lily. She said life is unpredictable. Her dad got lung cancer two years ago. Recently, his doctor said he can't be cured because the cancer's become terminal, and therefore, the doctor's referred him to palliative care. Lily must be very upset. She hopes that she can spend more time with her dad in the last part of his life.

 

[tedmc]

I prefer "had/was diagnosed with lung cancer" to "got lung cancer", and "last stage of his life".

 

[teechar]

in the last part of his life.

last stage of his life".

No. Say "the last days of his life".