Diary - I just watched an Olympic rhythmic gymnastic match.

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

I just watched an Olympic rhythmic gymnastic match. The performers' uniforms are so beautiful that they can compare to Latin dancing dresses. I wonder when the gymnasts threw the clubs up in the air, did they fear that they would be hit? It's really hard to control the timing of catching their tools. I think this event ties artistry, sport and entertainment all in one. When I watched it, I thought it was the most difficult event in the Olympics, but then synchronized swimming hit me because swimmers need to perform in the water and that's a lot more harder!

 

[emsr2d2]

You're misusing "match". That's not a term used in gymnastics. You can have a football match, tennis match, and there are several other sports that can collocate with "match". Gymnastics isn't one of them.
They don't wear "uniforms" when they're competing (they wear uniforms at the opening ceremony and perhaps when they collect their medals).
They don't use "tools" in rhythmic gymnastics. They use equipment.
I'm certain you know "more harder" is wrong.

Considering how often you seem to watch gymnastics, I'm surprised you're not more familiar with the correct terminology. I suggest you watch it on a channel that has English-speaking commentators or put the English subtitles on. You're not picking up any useful vocabulary if you're listening to commentators speaking Chinese.

I'd like you to completely rewrite your piece taking all of that into account.

 

[Tarheel]

It's hard to get the timing right for that stuff.

You could use "performances" there.

The word "props" might work.

 

[Maybo]

Considering how often you seem to watch gymnastics, I'm surprised you're not more familiar with the correct terminology.

This was my second time watching the rhythmic gymnastics. The last time was the Tokyo.
Last night, it was my first time watching in English live. Unfortunately, it was live so no subtitles provided. I could only catch 20% of what the commentators said.

Revised:
I just watched Olympic rhythmic gymnastic all-around qualifications. The performers' leotards are so beautiful that they can compare to Latin dancing dresses. I wonder when the gymnasts threw the clubs up in the air, did they fear that they would be hit? It's really hard to control the timing of catching their apparatuses. I think this event ties artistry, sport and entertainment all in one. When I watched it, I thought it was the most difficult event in the Olympics, but then synchronized swimming hit me because swimmers need to perform in the water and that's a lot harder!

 

[Tarheel]

You need an article (the). I don't like "apparatuses" at all. (You might try my suggestion.)

I have watched that a time or two. They have to have perfect timing to throw that thing up in the air and then catch it without looking.

 

[emsr2d2]

This was just/only my second time watching the rhythmic gymnastics. The last time was at the Tokyo Olympics.

In one of your previous threads, you talked about having a favourite discipline within rhythmic gymnastics. That suggested you were a fan of the sport.

Last night no comma it was my first time watching it in with commentary in English. live. Unfortunately, it was live so no subtitles were provided. I could only catch understand 20% of what the commentators said.

I just watched the Olympic rhythmic gymnastic all-around qualifications. The performers' leotards are so beautiful that they can be compared to Latin dancing dance dresses. I wonder if, when the gymnasts threw the clubs up in the air, did they fear that they feared they would be hit by the clubs on the way down. It's really hard to control the timing of catching their apparatuses equipment. I think this event ties combines artistry, sport and entertainment. all in one. When I watched was watching it, I thought it was the most difficult event in the Olympics, but then I realised that synchronized swimming hit me because swimmers need to perform in the water and that's a lot harder!

See above. Your sentence starting "I wonder if" was not a question so should not have ended with a question mark.

 

[tedmc]

rhythmic gymnastic all-around qualifications

What do you mean by the above?

 

[Maybo]

In one of your previous threads, you talked about having a favourite discipline within rhythmic gymnastics. That suggested you were a fan of the sport.

Yes, but I only watch it during the Olympics.

Do I need “that” before “they feared”?

 

[Maybo]

What do you mean by the above?

It’s a round before the players get into the final.

 

[Tarheel]

Try:

I wonder if, when the performers threw their clubs up into the air if they were afraid they might be hit by them on the way down.

I really don't like "equipment" at all.

Stick to talking about balls, clubs, or ribbons and you'll be fine.

It has to take a lot of practice to get it right.

 

[Maybo]

I wonder if, when the performers threw their clubs up into the air if they were afraid they might be hit by them on the way down.

I wonder if they feared that they might be hit by their clubs on the way down.

 

[Tarheel]

At the risk of bragging, I'd say my suggestion is perfect and cannot be improved upon

 

[Maybo]

Why is “if” needed before “they were afraid”?