a very confusing sentence concerning the third conditional of "if"

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May I upload the screenshots I told you about here for discussion?
How many examples do you want to discuss at a time?
 
You may upload screenshots.
 
On my own computer, I have collected 165 examples and divided them into 5 collections.
1- "if" when used with "after" as a conjunction OR a preposition.
2-"If" when followed by the past perfect OR the past simple.
3- special sentences [somewhat irrelevant sentences]
What do you want me to do now?
 
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I am not trying your patience.
I suggest I upload these collections at a time and you download them and see them, as pictures, on your computers. And, If you find any sentence problematic or if you have anything to say concerning any sentence, we are all ears.
How do find this suggestion?
 
I will not download anything unknown from any source. I can't speak for anyone else. However, since you've already told us that you have 165 collocations spread over 5 collections, it appears that you are suggesting that each picture will contain 33 sentences. That is a very long way from "Please post only one question per thread".
 
I will not download anything unknown from any source. I can't speak for anyone else. However, since you've already told us that you have 165 collocations spread over 5 collections, it appears that you are suggesting that each picture will contain 33 sentences. That is a very long way from "Please post only one question per thread".

I have 165 pictures and each picture has only one sentence marked with light green, so it's easy to find the example in it. There are very few sentences of them confusing to me. I am just suggesting uploading them so that you can all download them -and don't worry there are not any viruses in my files- and see them one by one freely and comment only on any sentences you object to or have anything that you can tell us about. You won't need any more context at most times so it's going to be a little easy task. Also, I will benefit from your notes and you, in turn, will save hours of search on Google. I have made it much easier for you as I included every single sentence, which is the same style as my own sentence, on Google . Now, all you need to do is agreeing and the rest is on me!
Note:
All this is an attempt to see how people use this kind of sentences in real and accordingly know whether it is formal or not
Thanks for your reply.
 
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I'm still not going to download anything or click on links to get to a simple sentence that it would take you just a few moments to type into a thread yourself. Feel free to give it a try but I predict you will get far fewer responses your way.

If none of them are confusing you, there's no need to put them in Ask a Teacher. If you simply want to post them for other learners to look at, put them in the General Language section.
 
If I typed them as written sentences in a thread, more context would be needed.
If you still refuse to download them as pictures, I can post only the really confusing ones.
What is your opinion?
 
You can post a picture here as the one below.

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Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...sher-six-years-4-200-hours-720-000-shots.html
 

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One of the reasons that it's better to post typed sentences, rather than pictures, is that many of us like to quote the sentence being queried in our response and, if necessary, make relevant changes within the quote box. That can't be done if you post a picture of the text. The forum works best just using text. Occasionally, it's useful to post a picture - for example, when we are trying to give a learner a visual idea of a particular word.

If there are only a few that are confusing you, I still think it would be simpler, quicker and more convenient (for all of us) for you to just type each confusing sentence into its own thread (in Ask A Teacher if you're asking for help with it) and wait for responses before posting the next one.

That is still my position and I see no benefit in any of us posting the same advice over and over.
 
That you should post questions in the way that all other members do.

I have meant, by all that I have said, that I wouldn't like to post so many threads as long as they are concerning one main subject, but I agreed to do this with the question tags.
Now, I have a very good idea. I will post pictures here in this thread as Matthew said and as I think it is better for me and you to do this instead of posting a separate thread to check only one example.
Also, I will write the sentences so that you can quote them as you like. ^_^
Now, I will post the first image and all you need to do, if you don't have anything to say about it or if it grammatically correct, is asking me to keep on!
I know you all have asked me to make a question at a separate thread at a time but this is really too difficult and tiring and asking my way will be so much easier. I hope haven't bothered you. Once I am done with this thread, I won't do this again, I promise! Except if very much needed! :)
I will now post examples of sentences when the "if" conjunction is followed by the past simple, not the past perfect, to merely know whether the context makes the sentence belong to the third conditional or mixed conditionals or other than both. That is the main reason I prefer to provide the context.
Of course, I am not imposing my way. I am just asking your permission to do this once as an exception that will never be repeated.
Let's start, please and make this thread prosperous.

The first sentence written is:
If you were anything like me after you had your first baby, you would have been in shock and dismay that they actually let out of the hospital with the baby.
And for enough context, please view this picture.
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zoom out to view the whole sentence clearly.
 

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You should have simply posted the URL below instead of the screenshot above.
www.baby-mac.com/2016/05/5-things-know-newborn-land/

I haven't saved every picture with the URL of the page I found on the internet, but it since you want it, I will make sure to provide it from now on.
Also, some pages on the internet are full of written texts and you won't find the sentence any easily only if you press "Ctrl + F" then a search box will appear on the screen so copy the written example I will provide and paste it into the search box, then you will simply find the sentence you want.
And I won't upload screenshots anymore because they are low quality when uploaded here. Also, the way above is simpler.
 
Ten pages into this thread I'm a little late to the party. So what exactly is the question?
 
Welcome to this party, jutfrank!

If you were anything like me after you had your first baby, you would have been in shock and dismay that they actually let out of the hospital with the baby.
The after-clause, which refers to the past, is not part of the if-clause, a second conditional clause referring to the present, while the main clause referred to the past, so I consider it a mixed conditional.
 
What exactly is the question?

By the way I disagree that the condition clause refers to the present. I presume she's trying to say something similar to If you'd been in my shoes,... If so, this would make it hypothetical, or 'unreal' in which sense I would say it doesn't refer to any time*.

However, it is clear from the context that she is talking about a very real experience that happened to her in past time, regardless of the fact that the way she expresses it doesn't actually make proper sense. We infer that she's trying to get the reader to identify and perhaps sympathise with how disoriented she felt at that time. I would say that it is not necessary for her to use conditional language at all -- I mean, 'conditionality' is not central to what she wants to communicate, so I wouldn't get too hung up on the grammar she uses.


*Unless you can conceive of an 'unreal time'.
 
When I read the sentence, I feel it needs reorganising in order to make better sense. I'm not sure if she means:

If you were anything like I was after I had my first baby, you would have been in shock and dismay that they let [you] out of the hospital with the baby.


or if she means:

If you are anything like me, you would have been in shock and dismay (after you had your first baby) that they let [you] out of the hospital with the baby.
 
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