Please correct my letter!

[anzelkaaa]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in response to the job which I saw advertised in the Lietuvos Rytas. I would apply for one of the positions organising sports and social activities.

I have graduated from the Vilniaus university and I have a pedagogue’s qualification. In addition, I received a high grade in English Course. I have had experience in communion with young people because for the last 5 years I have been a kindergartner in kindergarten.

Since I was 9 years old I have started to learn English. So I speak English fairly well. I like working in a team and commune with young people. Also I am interested in Sports and travel.

Thus one of the reason I am applying is my experience in working with children. I believe that I have all necessary skills and qualifications for this post.

Thank you for your time an consideration. I would be happy to attend an interview at a time convenient to you.

Yours faithfully,

Antonia Nes

 

[RonBee]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in response to the ad for the job which I saw advertised in the Lietuvos Rytas. I would like to apply for one of the positions organising sports and social activities.

I have graduated from the Vilniaus university, and I have a pedagogue’s qualification. In addition, I received a high grade in English Course. I have had experience in talking to young people because for the last 5 years I have been a kindergarten teacher.

Since I was 9 years old I have been speaking English. So I speak English fairly well. I like working as part of a team and talking to young people. Also I am interested in sports and travel.

Thus, one of the reason I am applying is my experience in working with children. I believe that I have all necessary skills and qualifications for this post.

Thank you for your time an consideration. I would be happy to attend an interview at a time convenient to you.

Yours faithfully,

Antonia Nes

 

[anzelkaaa]

Thank you!!!:-D

 

[dgoza]

Allow me to propose a few additional corrections:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in response to the ad for the job which I saw advertised in the Lietuvos Rytas. I would like to apply for one of the positions organising sports and social activities.

I have graduated from the Vilniaus University, and I have a pedagogue’s qualification. In addition, I received a high grade in my English Course. I have had experience in talking to young people because for the last 5 years I have been a kindergarten teacher.

I have been speaking English since I was 9 years old , so I speak English fairly well. I like working as part of a team and talking to young people. Also, I am interested in sports and travel.

Thus, one of the reasons I am applying is my experience in working with children. I believe that I have all necessary skills and qualifications for this post.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I would be happy to attend an interview at a time convenient for you.

Yours faithfully,

Antonia Nes

 

[RonBee]

Additionally, say:
.

I graduated from Vilniaus University.
​

.
If it is the name of the place, you don't need the article (the). For example, you would say I graduated from St. Louis University (not the St. Louis University).

 

[anzelkaaa]

OK. :-D Thank you!