Need help to write starting words for year end performance

[imranmagsi]

Hi,

i am good in excel but unfortunately i can not write more about my analysis. I am writing an email to concern persons about 2019 performance of their regions. i need starting lines like this year was not good as we compare it with previous year's sale, some sales area were closed due to management issues and some did not perform well to achieve the projections.

Is there anyone who can help me to write starting words/lines.

Regards,

IM

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi.

I am [STRIKE]good[/STRIKE] proficient in Excel but unfortunately I [STRIKE]can not[/STRIKE] cannot write more about my analysis.

I am writing an email to [STRIKE]concern[/STRIKE] the [STRIKE]persons[/STRIKE] people concerned about their regions' performance in 2019. [STRIKE]performance of their regions.[/STRIKE]

I need some [STRIKE]starting[/STRIKE] opening lines like "[STRIKE]T[/STRIKE][STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] Last year's sales [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] were not as good as [STRIKE]we compare it with[/STRIKE] the previous year's; [STRIKE]sale,[/STRIKE] some sales areas were closed due to management issues and some did not [STRIKE]perform well to[/STRIKE] achieve their projections."

Is there anyone who can help me to write some [STRIKE]starting[/STRIKE] opening words/lines?

[STRIKE]Regards,[/STRIKE] Unnecessary.

[STRIKE]IM[/STRIKE] Unnecessary. We can see your username.

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please note my corrections above in red. I don't know what you mean by the part in blue and underlined above.

That's a rather negative opening line for an email. Maybe you could start with "Happy New Year! I have completed my analysis of last year's sales performance in the following regions: ...
The results are as follows: ..."

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

Sales did not meet expectations. We need to do better.

 

[imranmagsi]

OMG! thank you so much <emsrd2d> for your support. this is what i need. I am already thankful to Excel Help Forum which looks like this forum I learned a lot from that. now its time to convert my analysis (numeric) in to narratives.

Yes i have to inform regional heads about their areas performance for the year 2019, and i was stuck (how to start).

 

[Rover_KE]

Did you notice that ems capitalised every 'I'? You must do this every time you write it.

 

[Tarheel]

Thank you so much <emsrd2d> for your support. This is what i need. I am already thankful to Excel Help Forum, which looks like this forum. I learned a lot from that. Now it's time to convert my analysis (numeric) [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to narratives.

Yes, I have to inform regional heads about their area's performance for the year 2019, and I couldn't figure out how to get started.

Well, we will only know if you have taken that advice seriously if you make some changes.

You didn't give my other post either a like or a thank. I guess you didn't like my suggestion.
:-(

 

[imranmagsi]

Finally email is ready to circulate please see below:

Happy New Year.

I have completed my analysis of last year’s performance, according to the analysis last year’s performance was lower than projected/commitment, however some Centres were closed duet to management issue and cut-off funds during the 2019. While, some did not perform as committed.

Overview:
We have achieved 69% of sales, 81% of costumers and 79% of income against the commitments of 2019.

Please see the below region wise performance against the field projections:

<Here I will be using a table>

<closing lines> As 2020 projections were set, we hope in this year you will meet the projections.

 

[imranmagsi]

I am sorry Tarheel. I am new in this forum just learning how to say thanks and give like.

I like your suggestion but I need to start with some soft words.

 

[Tarheel]

I think the word you're looking for is goals. You didn't meet your sales goals.

I know what income is, but "81% of customers baffles me.

There are still punctuation problems.

That one certainly is an improvement over the other one.
:up:

 

[Tarheel]

I am sorry Tarheel. I am new in this forum just learning how to say thanks and give like.

I like your suggestion but I need to start with some soft words.

No need to apologize. (You found the "Thank" button. :up: )

Those words are soft enough.

 

[imranmagsi]

To reach or provide services to 100 customers but we serve only 81 customers.

 

[emsr2d2]

Finally my email is ready to circulate. Please see below:

Happy New Year.

I have completed my analysis of last year’s performance. According to the analysis, last year’s performance was [STRIKE]lower[/STRIKE] worse than projected. [STRIKE]/commitment,[/STRIKE] However, some centres were closed [STRIKE]duet[/STRIKE] due to management issues and [STRIKE]cut-off[/STRIKE] reduced [STRIKE]funds[/STRIKE] funding during [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] 2019, [STRIKE]While,[/STRIKE] and some did not [STRIKE]perform as committed[/STRIKE] reach their goals.

Overview:
We [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] achieved 69% of sales, reached 81% of customers and brought in 79% of income [STRIKE]against[/STRIKE] of [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] our [STRIKE]commitments of[/STRIKE] 2019 goals/projections.

Please see [STRIKE]the below[/STRIKE] regional [STRIKE]wise[/STRIKE] performance against [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] field projections below:

<Here I will be using a table>

<closing lines> [STRIKE]As[/STRIKE] Our 2020 projections [STRIKE]were[/STRIKE] have been [STRIKE]set[/STRIKE] made, and we hope [STRIKE]in this year[/STRIKE] you will [STRIKE]meet[/STRIKE] achieve them. [STRIKE]projections.[/STRIKE]

See above.

 

[Tarheel]

To reach or provide services to 100 customers but we serve only 81 customers.

Perhaps:

Out of 100 customers, we only served 81.

I don't know what kind of business it is, but it seems to be an odd statistic. How would you arrive at such a statistic? (Did that 19% go somewhere else? :-? )