I have got problem with the usage of simple past tense in this story

[Lumia625]

Hello,

I have got problem with the usage of simple past tense in the following story and I think the author must have used "past perfect" instead of simple past. I want to elicit your responses over this question.

Tamara Smith sliced open an eggplant. The seeds were arranged in the likeness of Elvis's profile. "Oh, my God!" Tamara screamed. She was The King's biggest fan. She had all his CD's and all the DVD's of his movies. She knew everything about the artist from Mississippi. She had been to his birthplace and to his memorial—Graceland—in Memphis. She had never actually seen him live, yet she worshipped him. She felt that she was his soul mate, because they were both born on January 8.

She always claimed that Elvis would be alive today if she could have contacted him that fateful day. She had had a strange feeling that morning in her own bathroom. She [STRIKE]sensed[/STRIKE]had sensed that there was danger for Elvis in his bathroom. She [STRIKE]suspected[/STRIKE]had suspected that he [STRIKE]might slip[/STRIKE] might have slipt in the tub, or maybe accidentally [STRIKE]electrocute[/STRIKE] might have electrocuted himself with his hair dryer. But she wasn't sure. All she [STRIKE]knew[/STRIKE] had known was that Elvis [STRIKE]must not use[/STRIKE] must have not used his bathroom that day.


She [STRIKE]dialed[/STRIKE] had dialed Memphis 411, but Information [STRIKE]told[/STRIKE] had told her that his number [STRIKE]was not listed[/STRIKE] had not been listed. She [STRIKE]called [/STRIKE] had called the Memphis police, but they [STRIKE]said[/STRIKE] had said she would have to get in line behind all the other crank callers. She [STRIKE]called[/STRIKE] had called her cousin who [STRIKE]lived[/STRIKE] had lived in Memphis, but her cousin [STRIKE]was out[/STRIKE] had been out.


She almost [STRIKE]died[/STRIKE] had died when she [STRIKE]saw[/STRIKE] had seen the TV news that night, August 16, the saddest day of her life. I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] had been right, I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] had been right, she [STRIKE]kept [/STRIKE] had kept repeating to herself. If only she had gotten through to poor Elvis

Now she had this eggplant. It could mean only one thing—Elvis was trying to communicate with her. She wrapped the eggplant in saran wrap and put it in her refrigerator. The next day she was going to visit Mabel, her palm reader / medium / manicurist, to have a séance

Thank you in advance.

 

[emsr2d2]

Do you mean that you think the author should have used​ the past perfect instead of the simple past? Why do you think that?

 

[Lumia625]

Do you mean that you think the author should have used​ the past perfect instead of the simple past? Why do you think that?

Yes exactly.

Because of these parts:

She always claimed that Elvis would be alive today if she could have contacted him that fateful day. She had had a strange feeling that morning in her own bathroom.

After the parts above the author begins to describe the feeling of Tamara in that day and give us more information about her feeling in that day. to put it in the straightforward way, Tamara reminded her feeling about Elvis in that day after she had sliced open an eggplant.

 

[Tarheel]

The original is better.

 

[Lumia625]

The original is better.

Better means my corrections are also correct?

Why the original is better while Tamara reminds something about past? She had sliced open an eggplant and after doing that she reminded some memories.

 

[Tarheel]

I have read the story a couple of times, and the original is fine. There don't need to be any changes.

 

[Tdol]

I think that all those past perfects is overkill. Just because you use one, it does not follow that every verb that comes afterwards in the sequence must do the same. We tend to use the past perfect sparingly.

 

[bhaisahab]

Your title should be "I have a problem..." not "I have got problem..."