Writing Practice #3

[AlexWoodz]

Could you please correct all the mistakes in my writing?
I've read a Wikipedia article about one of my favorite games that I've ever played.

Here's what I wrote down about Terraria.

What is Terraria?

Terraria is an adventure-sandbox game developed by Re-Logic and first realeased in 2011.

Terraria is one of the best-selling video games of all time with over 300 million copies sold.
Terraria has sold over 300 million copies, making it one of the best-selling video games of all time.

In Terraria, players can explore a variety of different procedurally generated worlds.

The freedom in this game is amazing, because you can do whatever you want, that's why some people usually call it "2d Minecraft" but it's not at all.

Players begin/start with basic tools, but as they progress through the game, they will need to upgrade their equipment in order to defeat all the bosses.

There are a tons of enemies, bosses, traps, etc. That can easily defeat any player, especially if they don't have the right equipment.

It doesn't matter how good you are at Terraria, eventually you will die.

Throughout the game there are a lot of NPC's that you can find that sells essential items that can be useful. (is writing "that" many times right?).
Throughout the game you'll find some useful NPC's that will help you progress through the game.

Once you have defeatead "Wall Of Flesh" boss, the hardmode begins.

Once the hardmode begins, everything in the world will suffer a terrible change, enemies will be stronger, it will be difficult to explore the world without getting hurt, getting new items will be a headache AND to top it all, if you are unlucky, bosses may spawn randomly without being prepared to fight.

 

[Tarheel]

Right at the beginning you said the same thing twice. You just did it in slightly different ways.

I didn't see a lot of errors. However, if you reread it you should be able to find a couple.

How would you describe it for somebody who has never heard of the game before?

 

[AlexWoodz]

How would you describe it for somebody who has never heard of the game before?

Thanks for your reply.

Here's how I would describe it and also recommend:

I've got a game for you.

I would describe it 100% as the most amazing game you could ever play in the entire world.

Look:
You can build awesome structures, explore a massive world, and get into some epic and fun battles against bosses and powerful enemies.

It's got everything you need for an incredible gaming adventure.

Above all, it is super addictive. You can spend hours and hours playing it and having a lot of fun.

I am absolutely sure you will love it if you are fan of those kind of games where you die hundreds of times and you feel like you are not progressing.

You should definitely give it a try.
Trust me, I can assure you won't be disappointed.

Note:
It took me a significant amount of time to write this, because I had to look up words and rewrite multiple times.

 

[tedmc]

Thanks for your reply.

Here's how I would describe it and also recommend it:

I've got a game for you.

I would describe it as100% as the most amazing game you could ever play in the entire world.

Look:
You can build awesome structures, explore a massive world, and get into some epic and fun battles against bosses and powerful enemies.

It's got everything you need for an incredible gaming adventure.

Above all, it is super addictive. You can spend hours and hours playing it and having a lot of fun.

I am absolutely sure you will love it if you are a fan of those kind of games where you die hundreds of times and you feel like you are not progressing.

You should definitely give it a try.
Trust me, I can assure you won't be disappointed.

Note:
It took me a significant amount of time to write this, because I had to look up words and rewrite multiple times.

 

[teechar]

I've read a Wikipedia article about one of my favorite games that I've ever played.

That doesn't work. Say either:
"One of the best games that I have ever played" (not the superlative).
or
"One of my favourite games".

Terraria is an adventure-sandbox game developed by Re-Logic and first realeased in 2011.

Activate the English spell checker in your text editor or browser.

Terraria is one of the best-selling video games of all time with over 300 million copies sold.
Terraria has sold over 300 million copies, making it one of the best-selling video games of all time.

As Tarheel has pointed out, this is repetitive.

The freedom in this game is amazing, because you can do whatever you want, that's why some people usually call it "2d Minecraft" but it's not at all.

I pointed this kind of error out to you before. It's called a comma splice error. Do you know how to fix it?

There are a [ No "a"] tons of enemies, bosses, traps, etc. that can easily defeat any player, especially if they don't have the right equipment.

It doesn't matter how good you are at Terraria, eventually you will die.

Here we go again. Note how you have two independent clauses here. Therefore, they should not be linked by a comma. Your choices are:
It doesn't matter how good you are at Terraria; eventually you will die.
It doesn't matter how good you are at Terraria. Eventually, you will die.
No matter how good you are at Terraria, eventually you will die. [ Here, the comma works because the part on the left is not an independent clause.]

Throughout the game, there are a lot of NPCs [ No apostrophe] that you can find that sell essential items that can be useful. (is writing "that" many times right?).

Yes. You can shorten it to "Throughout the game, there are many NPCs that sell useful, and perhaps essential, items".

Throughout the game you'll find some useful NPCs that will help you progress through the game.

Once you have defeated the "Wall Of Flesh" boss, the "Hardmode" begins.

Note the need for "the". This is because "boss" is a singular countable noun.

Once the hardmode begins, During that, everything in the world will suffer a terrible change: enemies will be stronger, it will be difficult to exploring the world without getting hurt becomes harder, and getting new items will be a headache. AND to top it all, if you are unlucky,

bosses may spawn randomly without being prepared to fight.

I don't understand what that means.