teetering between sleep and wakefulness

[Tarheel]

Maybe better:

between reality and unreality

 

[alpacinou]

I would appreciate others to let me know what they think about these two:

1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He crashed on the bed to get the one hundred hours of sleep he needed but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long to realize he was in for a rough, long night.


2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children but he could not touch them.

 

[Tarheel]

I would appreciate it if people would let me know what they think about these two:

1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He got in bed to get the one hundred hours of sleep he needed, but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was in for a rough, long night.


2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children but he could not touch them.

I would say:

between the resl and the unreal

Or:

between reality and unreality.

He's in the twilight zone.

 

[alpacinou]

Thanks Tarheel.

Now let's see what others think about these two:

1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He got in bed to get the one hundred hours of sleep he needed, but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was in for a rough, long night.


2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children but he could not touch them.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Thanks Tarheel.

Now let's see what others think about these two:

1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He got in bed to get the [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE] hundred hours of sleep he needed, but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into unconsciousness only to bounce out again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was in for a long, rough night.

2. John lay in bed. He was going back and forth in that ether between sleep and wakefulness, between real and unreal. He could hear his children, but he could not touch them.

They're good.

 

[alpacinou]

They're good.

Thanks you Charlie for your immeasurable contributions. You are making a big difference. :up:

 

[Tarheel]

Can you guess where Charlie and I differ?

 

[alpacinou]

Can you guess where Charlie and I differ?

Are you talking about "the" before real and unreal?

 

[emsr2d2]

I would appreciate [STRIKE]others to[/STRIKE] it if you would let me know what [STRIKE]they[/STRIKE] you think about these two:

1. John arrived home, his eyes hollow and rimmed in black. He crashed [down] onto the bed to get the [STRIKE]one hundred[/STRIKE] hundred/100 hours of sleep he needed but he had no idea what the night had in store for him. He kept slipping into [STRIKE]unconsciousness[/STRIKE] a deep sleep, only to [STRIKE]bounce out[/STRIKE] suddenly wake up again, restless and helpless. It didn't take long for him to realize he was in for a long, rough [STRIKE], long[/STRIKE] night.

See above.

 

[Tarheel]

Are you talking about "the" before real and unreal?

That too. I meant I would leave "one" in front of "hundred".