I'm a Chubby Baby
Member
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2020
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Chinese
- Home Country
- China
- Current Location
- China
Original: Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems.
My rewrites: Excess sugar is added to processed foods and drinks by their manufacturers and this leads to /contributes to many health issues.
Hi, everyone. The original uses the active voice. Does my version of the passive voice sound unnatural?
Is it accurate to change 'high levels of sugar' to 'excess sugar'?
Should I use 'manufacturers' or 'their manufacturers'?
My rewrites: Excess sugar is added to processed foods and drinks by their manufacturers and this leads to /contributes to many health issues.
Hi, everyone. The original uses the active voice. Does my version of the passive voice sound unnatural?
Is it accurate to change 'high levels of sugar' to 'excess sugar'?
Should I use 'manufacturers' or 'their manufacturers'?