English in Game Comic

[WILEz]

Hi, I'm a video game developer.
Together with the videogame we are developing we have also written a comic. My English is not perfect and I may have made some mistakes.
Can anyone tell me if everything is correct on this pages?

 

[jutfrank]

There are two cases where the letterer has spliced two words together:

BLUEMOUNTAINS
BADFOR

There are several others issues with punctuation, but the language itself is not too bad.