does this email makes sence

[netteen]

Dear mrs. Dor


Considering our meeting we had in the previous days(your positive attitude and encouragement to keep in contact with you).
I am writing to inquire about the possibility of returning to work at ABC.
I saw a job vacancy you posted on the internet for my former position -Educator.
If I were to be rehired I can assure you that I can offer a long term commitment.
Thank you in advance for your consideration.
I look forward to hearing from you.


Best regards,

 

[emsr2d2]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

There are several mistakes in your letter. Before we cover the grammatical errors, you should note that the word "I" must always be capitalised and that we do not put a space before a full stop. Please edit your post to correct those errors first.

 

[netteen]

thank you very much can you please help me to make it right.

 

[emsr2d2]

Thank you very much. Can you please help me to make it right?

In post #2, I gave you two ways to improve your post immediately. Why haven't you followed my suggestions?

 

[netteen]

Thanks.I am in need to have a formal email.Deadline is in two days and as you can see I have mistakes:-?

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear Mrs. Dor

[STRIKE]Considering our meeting we had in the previous days(your positive attitude and encouragement to keep in contact with you).[/STRIKE]
With regard to our recent meeting, I am writing to inquire about the possibility of returning to work at ABC.

[STRIKE]I saw a job vacancy you posted on the internet for my former position -Educator.[/STRIKE]
I noticed that you advertised the job I previously held (Educator) on the internet.

If I were to be rehired I can assure you that I can offer a long term commitment.

Thank you in advance for your consideration. (Space required after a full stop) I look forward to hearing from you.

[STRIKE]Best regards,[/STRIKE]
Yours sincerely

See above.

 

[netteen]

Thank you!You really helped me. All the best to you

 

[emsr2d2]

You're welcome but please note that there is no need to write a new post to say "Thank you". Simply click on the "Thank" button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful.

 

[netteen]

I am about to sent that corrected email all I need for the end is what to write on the subject?
A. My full name or B. Application for a job

 

[emsr2d2]

I would probably use "Regarding the recent job advert for "Educator" in the subject line.

I don't know what else you might need to put in the email. It depends on whether this is a formal application for the job. If it is, there is probably an application form you have to fill in even if you used to hold the advertised position. You might even have to enclose your CV. Only you know what the requirements are for applying for this job.

Your name goes at the end of the letter, after "Yours sincerely".

 

[tedmc]

A suitable title for your letter would be: Enquiry for the Post of Educator (on the Internet)

not a teacher

 

[emsr2d2]

For me, Tedmc's suggestion makes it sounds as if the job is "Educator (on the internet)" - someone who teaches online. I don't think that's the case. I get the impression that the job is not online but the job advert was posted online.

 

[tedmc]

You are right, emsr, I misread that part. But TS would know what I meant.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm sure that's true but if s/he actually puts it in the subject line, the recipient might not get a good impression of how well the OP has read the advert.