A impatient mother

[chunchuntthn]

A impatient mother

One day, Mia went back to home from the school. She went straight to her mother and said: “ Mummy, today my teacher punished me for something. I didn’t do anything”. The mother was very angry and go straight the teacher’ house and yelled the teacher, but the mother didn’t ask Mia why she was punished.
When her mother came home she said: “ I yelled your teacher nicely. By the way, why your teacher punished you”. Mia said: “ I don’t do my homework”.

Please correct my mistake, teacher. Thank you very much!

 

[emsr2d2]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

When are you going to submit your short piece of writing to your teacher or tutor for marking or grading?

 

[chunchuntthn]

Hi teacher emsr2d2. I write this short story for myself to improve my writing skill. I do not submit this one. Thank teacher!

 

[emsr2d2]

An impatient [STRIKE]motherd[/STRIKE] mother

One day, Mia went [STRIKE]back to[/STRIKE] home from [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] school, (no full stop here) [STRIKE]She[/STRIKE] went straight to her mother and said: “Mummy, today my teacher punished me for something (no full stop here) I didn’t do!" [STRIKE]anything”.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]The[/STRIKE] Her mother was very angry and [STRIKE]go[/STRIKE] went straight to the teacher’ house and yelled at the teacher, but [STRIKE]the mother[/STRIKE] she didn't ask her why Mia [STRIKE]why she[/STRIKE] was punished.
When her mother came home, she said: “I yelled at your teacher nicely. (The underlined word makes no sense. You can't yell at someone nicely!) By the way, why did your teacher [STRIKE]punished[/STRIKE] punish you?" Mia said (no colon here) “I [STRIKE]don’t[/STRIKE] didn't do my homework”.

Please correct my mistakes. [STRIKE]teacher.[/STRIKE] Thank you very much!

Hi [STRIKE]teacher[/STRIKE] emsr2d2. I [STRIKE]write[/STRIKE] wrote this short story for myself to improve my writing skill. I [STRIKE]do not[/STRIKE] won't submit this one. Thanks. [STRIKE]teacher![/STRIKE]

See above. Note that there is no need to keep addressing us as "teacher", especially as plenty of the people who are you going to help you here aren't teachers.

You need to work on your use of tenses. Also, remember that we don't put a space after opening quotation marks.

 

[chunchuntthn]

Hi emsr2d2. This is my rewriting

An impatient mother​

One day, Mia went home from school, went straight to her mother and said: “Mummy, today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do!”. Her mother was very angry and went straight to the teacher’ house and yelled at the teacher, but She didn’t ask her why Mia was punished.
When her mother came home, she said: “I yelled at your teacher. By the way, why did your teacher punish you”. Mia said “ I didn’t do my homework”.

Please correct my mistakes, teacher. Thank you very much!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi emsr2d2. I wrote this short story for myself to improve my writing skill. I will not submit this one. Thanks!

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi emsr2d2. This is my [STRIKE]rewriting[/STRIKE] rewrite. (I'd say it was my rewrite actually!)

An impatient mother

One day, Mia went home from school, went straight to her mother and said: “Mummy, today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do!” (no full stop here) Her mother was very angry and went straight to the teacher’s house and yelled at the teacher, but she didn’t ask her why Mia was punished.
When her mother came home, she said: “I yelled at your teacher. By the way, why did your teacher punish you?” (no full stop here) Mia said “I didn’t do my homework”.

Please correct my mistakes. [STRIKE]teacher.[/STRIKE] I already asked you not to address us as "teacher". Thank you very much!

See above.

When a quoted statement ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, we don't then put a full stop after the closing quotation marks.

 

[chunchuntthn]

An impatient mother

One day, Mia went home from school, went straight to her mother and said: “Mummy, today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do!”. Her mother was very angry and went straight to the teacher’s house and yelled at the teacher, but she didn’t ask her why Mia was punished.
When her mother came home, she said: “I yelled at your teacher. By the way, why did your teacher punish you?” Mia said “I didn’t do my homework”.

Please correct my mistakes. Thank you very much!

 

[emsr2d2]

Apologies. I missed two corrections the first time. There should be no colon after "went straight to her mother and said" or after "When her mother came home, she said".

You have put a full stop in again after the closing quotation marks after "something I didn't do!" I already told you that we don't do that.

 

[chunchuntthn]

An impatient mother​

One day, Mia went home from school, went straight to her mother and said “Mummy, today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do!” Her mother was very angry and went straight to the teacher’s house and yelled at the teacher, but she didn’t ask her why Mia was punished.
When her mother came home, she said “I yelled at your teacher. By the way, why did your teacher punish you?” Mia said “I didn’t do my homework”.