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New member
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2017
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Russian
- Home Country
- Russian Federation
- Current Location
- Russian Federation
Topic: Young people don`t pay enough attention to their health and fitness.
Writing:
That statement is anything but true – according to statistic in the United States for a period of 2011-2014 the prevalence of obesity has remained fairly stable at about 17% and affects about 12.7 million children and adolescents. Just think about it – more than 12 million children with potential for cardiovascular diseases and a range of cancers. So, why do we have such terrible numbers? I think, I know who to blame.
Media and social tendencies.
There is simply not enough propaganda of healthy lifestyle that targets young audience. Furthermore, there are movements (for instance: The fat acceptance movement) that advertises tolerance to obesity with messages like this: it doesn`t matter how I look: fat or thin, what matters is what kind of person I am.
Possible ways to fight with it.
I believe that media must be challenged with task of bringing the truth about obesity and its risks. Children must be provided with support from their family, teachers and the government.
PS: I was limited to 180 words. This one has 174.
I plan on showing this essay to my teacher tomorrow. All I want to know is whether it can be counted as "ok" for upper-intermediate/pre-advanced student or not.
Writing:
That statement is anything but true – according to statistic in the United States for a period of 2011-2014 the prevalence of obesity has remained fairly stable at about 17% and affects about 12.7 million children and adolescents. Just think about it – more than 12 million children with potential for cardiovascular diseases and a range of cancers. So, why do we have such terrible numbers? I think, I know who to blame.
Media and social tendencies.
There is simply not enough propaganda of healthy lifestyle that targets young audience. Furthermore, there are movements (for instance: The fat acceptance movement) that advertises tolerance to obesity with messages like this: it doesn`t matter how I look: fat or thin, what matters is what kind of person I am.
Possible ways to fight with it.
I believe that media must be challenged with task of bringing the truth about obesity and its risks. Children must be provided with support from their family, teachers and the government.
PS: I was limited to 180 words. This one has 174.
I plan on showing this essay to my teacher tomorrow. All I want to know is whether it can be counted as "ok" for upper-intermediate/pre-advanced student or not.
