[General] Yielding to love

[rodgers white]

For me, poetry is an art form that allows the artist to combine both poetry and a visual work of art within a single art piece. Words and paintings are a perfect combination to provide a snapshot into our minds and thoughts. Would you please proofread my sentences and share what you imagine when you look at the painting? Any help would be appreciated. Here are the words and the painting.

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Yielding to love，that recognizes no bounds. I will go by night... For the world will not forbid one who sails the path of dreams.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

For me, poetry is an art form that allows the artist to combine both poetry and a visual work of art within a single art piece. Words and paintings are a perfect combination to provide a snapshot into our minds and thoughts. Would you please proofread my sentences and share what you imagine when you look at the painting? Any help would be appreciated. Here are the words and the painting.

*********************************************************

Yielding to love，that recognizes no bounds. I will go by night... For the world will not forbid one who sails the path of dreams.


View attachment 3809

If I understand what you mean, it's a good thought. But the comma and elipsis muddy the meaning. You might mean:

Yielding to love that recognizes no bounds, I will go by night, for the world will not forbid one who sails the path of dreams.

Or:

Yielding to love recognizes no bounds. I will go by night — for the world will not forbid one who sails the path of dreams.

 

[rodgers white]

Thank you for your help. I mean: Yielding to love that recognizes no bounds, I will go by night, for the world will not forbid one who sails the path of dreams.


I like the word 'sail' because it is the symbol of freedom in my dreams. It usually refers to a positive change ahead, though it is challenging. Sails guide a ship and are moved by the wind; therefore, they represent the power of mind that guides a person in life.


So, now is there any room to improve, or do you have something to share?