99bottles
Banned
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2018
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Greek
- Home Country
- Greece
- Current Location
- Greece
Here is a sentence that I'm trying to write and is confusing me.
Context: A crowd is exiting a place. The main character is one of the people of this crowd. Here are the ways I have thought of writing this in.
1. While waiting for the rest of his peers to come out, he was gazing at the statue.
2. While waiting for all his peers to come out, he was gazing at the statue.
3. While waiting until the rest of his peers came out, he was gazing at the statue.
4. While waiting until all his peers came out, he was gazing at the statue.
5. While waiting until the rest of his peers had come out, he was gazing at the statue.
6. While waiting until all his peers had come out, he was gazing at the statue.
Here are the things that concern me...
-Does all his peers make it clear that, so far, he and some of his peers have come out? Or does it sound like he was the first to come out? Should I write the rest of his peers to make it clear? Or is that ambiguous too? And if it's ambiguous too, what should I write?
-Is while waiting until natural? Or is using while and until in the same sentence confusing? And if you suggest that I use until, should it be followed by the simple past or the past perfect tense?
Context: A crowd is exiting a place. The main character is one of the people of this crowd. Here are the ways I have thought of writing this in.
1. While waiting for the rest of his peers to come out, he was gazing at the statue.
2. While waiting for all his peers to come out, he was gazing at the statue.
3. While waiting until the rest of his peers came out, he was gazing at the statue.
4. While waiting until all his peers came out, he was gazing at the statue.
5. While waiting until the rest of his peers had come out, he was gazing at the statue.
6. While waiting until all his peers had come out, he was gazing at the statue.
Here are the things that concern me...
-Does all his peers make it clear that, so far, he and some of his peers have come out? Or does it sound like he was the first to come out? Should I write the rest of his peers to make it clear? Or is that ambiguous too? And if it's ambiguous too, what should I write?
-Is while waiting until natural? Or is using while and until in the same sentence confusing? And if you suggest that I use until, should it be followed by the simple past or the past perfect tense?
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