[Essay] What is wrong with my essay?

[rrrocky]

My essay is about if it was worth it for all the problems and struggles faced by the people in the Civil rights movement for integration in schools was worth it. This is my essay:"Did you know that most people think all the problems and difficulties faced by people in the Civil Rights movement for integration in schools was worth it? Some people think not, but I think it was.
I think that everyone should get an education. One reason is because The Constitution states that all people are equal. Also all of the people wanted to learn, and they had worked so very hard to learn.
I think another reason is, that integration was more popular meaning that were allowed to go there. Aswell the people going to those schools where not breaking the law.
From that information you might be convinced maybe not. But what could we do to change this? It might happen again. What will we do then?"
What is wrong with it?

 

[teechar]

Hi rrrocky
An essay is a structured piece of writing with a certain degree of formality. It is written as a response to a given question.
You need to have an introduction, some body paragraphs and a conclusion.

I would suggest that you do a bit of research about writing essays.

You can start by having a look here:
https://www.usingenglish.com/resources/essays/

Re-write it and we'll have a look at it for you.

;-)

 

[Tarheel]

If you were expecting somebody to rewrite that thing for you, sorry. No dice. If you wanted to give the impression that you didn't work very hard on your "essay" then you succeeded at that. Also, you might want to make sure you get your facts straight. Perhaps look up "All men are created equal". Or look up the Declaration of Independence.