It is a pity that my dictionary can't help me realize the difference between these words, and with looking them up, I think they are the same.
My sentences here:
I declined to tell her the secret.
I refused to tell her the secret.
I denied to tell her the secret.
As TheParser's help, I can see using "decline" is more softly to listeners, but what about the two other words?
Thank you so much!
***** NOT A TEACHER *****
(1) Like you, I am also a learner, so I understand how difficult
English is.
(2) Perhaps the most important point to remember is that
some verbs such as
deny do
not take the infinitive:
You can say "I deny
doing (gerund) that," but
not: I deny
to do that." But you can say "I deny
that I did that."
There are many verbs that will
not accept the infinitive
Here are a few from Mesdames Celce-Murcia and Larsen-Freeman's
wonderful
The Grammar Book: enjoy, avoid, risk, admit, finish, defend,
etc. I am sure that you can find on the Web lists of verbs that take only
the infinitive, that take only the gerund, and that take both ("I like
eating ice cream"; "I like to eat ice cream").
(3) In summary:
(a) I refuse to answer your stupid question. Get out of here, you
idiot!!!
(b) I'm sorry, but I must decline to respond to your question. I'm
not feeling too well.
(c) [Remember that "deny" = something -- usually bad -- that has already happened.]
(i) I strongly deny
your accusation. (noun)
(ii) I deny
saying that to your father yesterday. (gerund phrase)
(iii) I deny
that I did that last month. (noun clause)
P.S. Sometimes "deny" can be used in a "good" sense:
Somebody sent me $1,000 so that I could get some medical help. I think that John Doe is the person who sent the money, but he denies it. (Because Mr. Doe likes to help people anonymously. He does not want
people to know about his generosity.)