We were walking on the beach

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

We were walking on the beach, the soft sand swallowing our steps. On the left the sounds of the jungle cut through the spring night. The wind, the birds the sea were singing the same sad song. They were lamenting the loss of the precious birds shot by Bernard. Or maybe they were mourning the end of our relationship.

 

[Tarheel]

Is this correct and natural?

We were walking on the beach, the soft sand swallowing our steps. On the left the sounds of the jungle cut through the spring night. The wind, the birds, the sea were singing the same sad song. They were lamenting the loss of the precious birds shot by Bernard. Or maybe they were mourning the end of our relationship.

It's natural enough if you're trying to be creative.