[Grammar] Vacation letter - Please help me.

[Ajay 123]

Please guide me, how can I write this in a better way.

Dear Sir,

My annual vacation is due on 24th April 2015. However, I postponed my vacation one month as I have to be present in Chennai in the 1st week of June 2015 for the school admission of my son and my part time higher study application process. My presence is imperative at home as I also need to rectify some defects in my house during this vacation.

I Kindly request you to grant me 40 days leave effective from 25th May 2015.

I assured my best efforts for the organization at all times.

Yours sincerely,

Ajay.

 

[Nbras]

Hi Ajay
I have tried to correct some mistakes, but I am not an expert in English so I hope some members who are expert to help me also
Note: the blue sentence, actually I didn't understand what are you meaning!

Dear Sir,

My annual vacation is due on 24th April 2015. However, I would like to extend extented my vacation one month because as I have to be present in Chennai at in the 1st Ist week of June 2015 for the school admission of my son and my part time higher study application process. And I have to renew my house My presence is imperative at home as I also need to rectify some defects in my house during this vacation.

I Kindly request you to give grant me 40 days leave effective from 25th May 2015.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.
I assured my best efforts for the organization at all times.

Yours sincerely,

Ajay.

 

[Nbras]

sorry there were problem with strikethrough so I coloured the wrong words with pink instead of strikethrough.
Dear Sir,

My annual vacation is due on 24th April 2015. However, I would like to extend extented my vacation one month because as I have to be present in Chennai at in the 1st Ist week of June 2015 for the school admission of my son and my part time higher study application process. And I have to renew my house My presence is imperative at home as I also need to rectify some defects in my house during this vacation.

I Kindly request you to give grant me 40 days leave effective from 25th May 2015.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.
I assured my best efforts for the organization at all times.

Yours sincerely,

Ajay.

 

[emsr2d2]

What do you mean by "My annual leave is due on 24th April 2015"? Do you mean that your new annual leave entitlement year begins on 24th April or do you mean that you had already requested leave to begin on 24th April?

 

[Ajay 123]

What do you mean by "My annual leave is due on 24th April 2015"? Do you mean that your new annual leave entitlement year begins on 24th April or do you mean that you had already requested leave to begin on 24th April?

My vacation is yearly once. If I complete 12 months, I will be eligible to get leave for 30 days. I will be completing my 1st year contract on 23rd April 2015. Since I have some personal works in my home, I postponed to the last week of May-2015. I want to higlight this one and to get an additional 10 days leave (30+10=40days).

 

[Ajay 123]

Nbras,

Thanks for your initiative. I agree some corrections you did in the post#2 & 3 which I coloured in red, rest I have still some conclusions.

And I have to renew my house: It's fine. Here I also want to highlight my availability at home. I also await teachers review.

Not a teacher.

 

[emsr2d2]

Please guide me. How can I write this in a better way?

Dear Sir,

My annual vacation year is due to start on 24th April 2015. [STRIKE]However, I postponed my vacation one month as[/STRIKE] I have to be [STRIKE]present[/STRIKE] in Chennai in the [STRIKE]1st[/STRIKE] first week of June 2015 for [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my son's admission to school [STRIKE]admission of my son[/STRIKE] and for my application for part-time [STRIKE]higher[/STRIKE] further [strike]study[/strike] education. [STRIKE]application process.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]My presence is imperative at home as[/STRIKE] I also need to [STRIKE]rectify[/STRIKE] make some [STRIKE]defects[/STRIKE] vital repairs [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to my house during this vacation.

I kindly request you to grant me 40 days' leave effective from 25th May 2015.

[STRIKE]I assured my best efforts for the organization at all times.[/STRIKE] Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Ajay.

See above for my suggested corrections.

 

[tedmc]

My annual vacation year is due to start on 24th April 2015.


A staff may be eligible after completing the minimum period of service to take annual leave. It does not mean he/she can take the annual leave immediately upon completion of the service or on whichever date the staff likes, but is subject to approval of the management.

So you cannot say that your leave/vacation is due to start on a certain date. You are applying for the leave. Or your leave has been approved for a certain date but now you wish to postpone it.
Staff can take leave for vacation or other purposes.

not a teacher

 

[Ajay 123]

So, should I write? My annual vacation year is due to satrt on 24th April 2015 as per my contract.

 

[emsr2d2]

The beginning is exactly what I wrote in post #7. I don't see the need to use "as per my contract".