it's good you're enjoying writing! For some reason, I'd put damp at the front of the string.
Some general comments:
Alliteration works best in verse. A little bit can be great in prose, but it gets heavy-handed quickly. Verse usually uses luminous language to make words stand out. Prose usually uses transparent language to make words disappear.
The same goes for adjectives. Verse loves them for their own sake. Prose tolerates them if they serve a purpose.
The same goes for adjectives. [...] Prose tolerates them if they serve a purpose.
When you figure it out, you can explain it to the rest of us.Plus using alliteration in prose can have a comical effect. (Especially if you overdo it.)
I need to remember that line "Verse uses luminous language to make words stand out. Prose usually uses transparent language to make words disappear." (I'm not sure what it means, but I like it.)
And especially when overly overused.And the same goes for adverbs when overused.
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