urinate v. take a leak v. piss

[hhtt21]

For example there are friends near woods. When one of them needs to urinate, how would he say it?

1. "I need to urinate, I am going into the woods."

2. "I need to piss, I am going into the woods."

3. "I need to take a leak, I am going into the woods."

Would you please judge and correct the case? I suppose the question I am asking is not vulgar.

 

[bubbha]

In each of these three sentences, you should use a semicolon or a period (full stop) instead of a comma.

As to which one you choose, it depends on the people involved, including their sense of humor and how sensitive they are to vulgarity, as well as the occasion (camping vs. a formal event).

In general, "urinate" has a clinical sound to it, but it could be used to humorous effect.

The word "piss" is vulgar and not to be used in polite company, but among close friends who know each other's tolerance for vulgar words, it might be used.

The phrase "take a leak" is more casual and slang-like, and a group of friends camping in the woods would be a good setting in which to use it. It's not a phrase I'd use at a soiree organized by my boss or at a dinner with the Queen.

 

[Phaedrus]

With Prince Charles, one might say:

"Please excuse me while I take a moment to commune with nature in private."

 

[Tdol]

With Prince Charles, one might say:

"Please excuse me while I take a moment to commune with nature in private."

And his servants would say that he had gone for a piss. ;-)

 

[Tdol]

For example there are friends near woods. When one of them needs to urinate, how would he say it?

1. "I need to urinate, I am going into the woods."

2. "I need to piss, I am going into the woods."

3. "I need to take a leak, I am going into the woods."

Would you please judge and correct the case? I suppose the question I am asking is not vulgar.

The first is what a doctor might ask you when handing you a sample bottle. The other two are more common and would depend on the relationship between the people. The third is harmless and the second is slang.

 

[hhtt21]

The first is what a doctor might ask you when handing you a sample bottle. The other two are more common and would depend on the relationship between the people. The third is harmless and the second is slang.

I cannot distinguish between vulgar and slang. Are they the same? And what do you mean by harmless?

 

[Raymott]

For example there are friends near woods.

Don't start your post with "For example". No native speaker would ever do this. "For example, ..." means, "Here is an example of what I've just been talking about."

 

[emsr2d2]

Notwithstanding the fact that I've never had dinner with the queen (and never will), I have been in more than my fair share of formal and informal situations, with friends, family, colleagues and complete strangers and have always found that "I need the loo" and "I'm going to the loo" work perfectly well in every situation.

 

[hhtt21]

For example there are friends near woods.

Don't start your post with "For example". No native speaker would ever do this. "For example, ..." means, "Here is an example of what I've just been talking about."

Then how to start with an imaginary or invented example?

 

[SoothingDave]

"I'm going to go see a man about a horse."

 

[Raymott]

Then how to start with an imaginary or invented example?

This is also incorrect. "Then how do you/I start with ...".

You could say:
"Let's suppose there are some friends near the wood" or
"Consider this situation: there are some friends near the woods, and" or
"There are a group of friends near the woods ..."
"If there are a group of friends near the woods, and ..."
"I have a question about the following: There are a group of friends near the woods..."
etc.

 

[Rover_KE]

"I'm going to go see a man about a horse."

In the UK we see a man about a dog.

 

[hhtt21]

But isolated "man about horse/dog" is ridiculous, isn't it? Or can the isolated part have a meaning?

 

[emsr2d2]

It's not ridiculous, as such. It's only ever said in context - you use it when someone asks you where you're going or when you need to leave somewhere and you don't want to tell other people where you're going. It doesn't matter if it's a really important secret or something trivial. If you don't want to reveal where you're going, you just say "[I've] got to see a man about a dog" and off you go!

 

[Skrej]

There are hundreds of these. I'm sure if you Google 'English bathroom euphemisms' or 'English toilet slang' you could find lots more. You'll find there are just as many for bowel movements as bladder movements.

These kinds of phrases not only tend to be regional or register specific, but sometimes people just invent a new term on the spur of the moment.

Here's a few I've heard/used off the top of my head.

shake the dew off the lily
drain the lizard/anaconda/snake
drain the hose/main vein
water the bushes/flowers/grass/trees/corn/crop of choice
powder my nose (typically indoor, and for women)
answer nature's call
take a whiz
(go) tinkle/piddle
relieve myself
visit the men's room (sarcasm if uttered outdoors)
make room for the next cup/glass/can/beverage of choice
make yellow snow/make a lemon snowball (obviously limited to winter)
break the seal (usually for the first urination when drinking)

 

[Skrej]

But isolated "man about horse/dog" is ridiculous, isn't it? Or can the isolated part have a meaning?

Many of these are idiomatic. As with most idioms, don't expect a literal explanation or logical sense.

 

[hhtt21]

"I'm going to go see a man about a horse."

For the imaginary situation, does it either in these forums: "I am going to see a man in the woods about a horse" or "I am going to see a man about a horse in the woods"?

 

[hhtt21]

Neither of those works.

Then how can I join the idiom "to see a man about a horse" to the part "in the woods" or at least without directly joining them, can it be possible by implications? Or does this work: I am going to see a man about a horse. I am going into the woods?

 

[Raymott]

hhtt, you can't play with idioms, unless you're attempting humour; they are meant to encompass the meaning. For example, a lady doesn't say "I'm going to powder my nose; my bladder's bursting!" (OK, maybe they do these days). But the point remains.

 

[Tdol]

But isolated "man about horse/dog" is ridiculous, isn't it? Or can the isolated part have a meaning?

It's an old phrase, and people were much less prepared to mention such things in those days. It sounds odd to me now.