Translation

[Nina L]

Hello! I would be grateful if you rated my translation of a short paragraph from a novel. Thanks in advance!
The air was stifling and vague voices were buzzing in the inn ‘’Wild Boar’’. Having wiped the sticky black table Gucho rushed to Gianni to serve him his snack. He was too petty on that day even the smell of the roasted duck didn’t seem to please him. Having cast the cutlery aside he wolfed down his meal. While flipping some leftovers from the table, he noticed his son who had huddled in the chair. In the dim light of the inn Lenno could hardly be seen. Gianni held out a piece of bread, but the boy with a disgusted expression on his face shook his head . He was looking at the door all the time in the hope of running from this place where his father brought him every evening. Gianni believed that the inn was the very place where a man could show his strength and a youth could become a man. Gianni grabbed his son by the scruff of the neck and went away.
‘’Uncle Fabio is my father’s inn the hell you told me about?’’
‘’You know, little one all these bawdy places around us could be the reflection of the low places waiting for the sinners in the other world’’.
‘’No! Mumbled the boy’’
‘’No? Asked father Fabio raising his eyebrows surprisingly. What do you mean?’’
‘’I don’t know. You asked me.’’
‘’You are a smart little boy and I am certain… moreover I predict a bright future is ahead of you, but let’s go on. Well, how to put it to you?’’
Father Fabio placed his hands on his chest , held out his right leg and closed his eyes. He was scratching his elbow from time to time, his face frowned. In his usual posture he was contemplating . He was going to tell the little boy that the ten commandments given to Moses by God in the desert, were given with one and only one purpose to make people stop committing sins for fear of horrifying punishments.

 

[Tdol]

Check the punctuation.

 

[teechar]

Hello! I would be grateful if you rated my translation of a short paragraph from a novel. Thanks in advance!
The air was stifling and vague voices were buzzing in the Wild Boar inn. Having wiped the sticky black table, Gucho rushed to Gianni to serve him his snack. He was too petty on that day, and even the smell of the roasted duck didn’t seem to please him. Having cast the cutlery aside, he wolfed down his meal. While flipping some leftovers from the table, he noticed his son who had huddled in the chair. In the dim light of the inn, Lenno could hardly be seen. Gianni held out a piece of bread, but the boy with a disgusted expression on his face shook his head . He was looking at the door all the time in the hope of running from this place where his father brought him every evening. Gianni believed that the inn was the very place where a man could show his strength and a youth could become a man. Gianni grabbed his son by the scruff of the neck and went away.
‘’Uncle Fabio, is my father’s inn the hell you told me about?’’
‘’You know, little one, all these [STRIKE]bawdy[/STRIKE] seedy places around us [STRIKE]could be the[/STRIKE] are a reflection of the [STRIKE]low[/STRIKE] ignominious places awaiting [STRIKE]for the[/STRIKE] sinners in the other world’’.
‘’No!" mumbled the boy.
‘’No?" asked father Fabio raising his eyebrows surprisingly. "What do you mean?’’
‘’I don’t know. You asked me.’’
‘’You are a smart little boy and I am certain [ that seems truncated] … Moreover, I predict a bright future is ahead of you, but let’s go on. Well, how to put it to you?’’
Father Fabio placed his hands on his chest , [STRIKE]held out[/STRIKE] slightly raised/lifted his right leg/foot and closed his eyes. He was scratching his elbow from time to time, and he [STRIKE]his face[/STRIKE] frowned. In his usual posture, he was contemplating. He was going to tell the little boy that the ten commandments given to Moses by God in the desert were given with one and only one purpose: to make people stop committing sins for fear of horrifying punishments.

.

 

[Nina L]

.

I also have to inculde this sentence, but I am quite lost in translation. ''The old man raised a bundle of his tiny eyebrows in surprise''. I am trying to find the right word to describe the old man's thin eyebrows. Can the words ''clump'' or ''cluster'' be used?

 

[Nina L]

.

So you can hold out your hand, but you stretch, raise or lift your leg/foot. It is just not the right word to use, right?

 

[teechar]

I also have to include this sentence, but I am quite lost in translation. ''The old man raised a bundle of his tiny eyebrows in surprise''. I am trying to find the right word to describe the old man's thin eyebrows. Can the words ''clump'' or ''cluster'' be used?

If they were thin, then say that. Otherwise, eyebrows are sometimes described as "bushy" or "thick", but that means they're not thin.

So you can hold out your hand, but you stretch, raise or lift your leg/foot. It is just not the right word to use, right?

You might hold out your leg, e.g., for a doctor to examine it, or hold out your foot to trip someone; but in the above context, I would not use it.