[Essay] tranquility/peace

[Ashiuhto]

Please help me correct the following paragraph.

This summer, I’m going to Canada for vacation. I will start off on July 15 and come back to Taiwan on July30. A first, I plan to enjoy the natural view of a beautiful lake, where it is famous for its tranquility and peace. I can get totally relaxed there. Next, I will go fishing on a boat in the lake while my sister takes her bike ride along the ring lake path. Fishing teaches me to be patient and being alone for hours. Last, I want to lie down on the grass with my sister to watch the stars in the night sky. We even see a shooting star and make wishes before it is gone. I have a high expectation for the vacation and it will be an unforgettable experience.

 

[bhaisahab]

Please help me correct the following paragraph.

This summer I’m going to Canada on vacation. I am going on July 15 and coming back to Taiwan on July30. A first, I plan to relax by a beautiful lake, which is famous for its tranquility and peace. I can get totally relaxed there. Next, I will go fishing in a boat on the lake while my sister takes a bike ride along the path around the lake. Fishing teaches me to be patient and to be alone for hours. Last, I want to lie down on the grass with my sister to watch the stars in the night sky. We might even see a shooting star and make wishes before it is gone. I have high expectations for the vacation, it will be an unforgettable experience.

My suggestions.