This moment, someone drew their attention.

[99bottles]

I often narrate in the present tense (stylistic preference). I have just noticed that I often use the expression that moment, and I wonder whether in a present-tense narration, I should replace it with this moment. Personally, I feel that combining that moment with a present-tense narration has an exciting emotional effect, especially in horror books (which is the genre I'm writing these days), but if you think it's wrong grammatically, I'll change it. What do you think? For example, in the sentence below ...

John is about to reply, but, this moment/that moment, someone draws the two kids' attention. (John is one of the two kids by the way.)

 

[teechar]

"This moment" won't work in the above, because "this moment" refers to your time of speaking. Consider also "right then" in that sentence.

 

[99bottles]

"This moment" won't work in the above, because "this moment" refers to your time of speaking. Consider also "right then" in that sentence.

So, is That moment wrong?

 

[teechar]

No, it's fine.

 

[Tarheel]

I'm not sure why you need the phrase in bold at all. He was about to say something, but someone distracted him. So he didn't. Instead he paid attention to something else.

 

[emsr2d2]

So, is That moment wrong?

It's wrong without "at" before it.

John is about to reply but, at that [exact] moment, someone ...

 

[99bottles]

It's wrong without "at" before it.

John is about to reply but, at that [exact] moment, someone ...

I feel that that moment without at sounds more sudden. Are you sure it's wrong? I think I have seen it somewhere.

 

[emsr2d2]

I feel that that moment without at sounds more sudden. Are you sure it's wrong? I think I have seen it somewhere.

Well, if you work out where you've seen it, please post a link and I'll comment on the usage. Until then, I'm sticking with "It's wrong".

 

[99bottles]

Well, if you work out where you've seen it, please post a link and I'll comment on the usage. Until then, I'm sticking with "It's wrong".

Post #13 ...

In/ at that moment/ that moment

When my speech ended, I felt honoured to receive a round of applause from the audience. In that moment/ at that moment/ that moment ( without any preposition), I felt a spasm of energy inside. Are all three okay? Can we choose to say 'that/ this moment' without a preposition preceeding? Please help!

forum.wordreference.com

 

[Tdol]

Post #13 ...

In/ at that moment/ that moment

When my speech ended, I felt honoured to receive a round of applause from the audience. In that moment/ at that moment/ that moment ( without any preposition), I felt a spasm of energy inside. Are all three okay? Can we choose to say 'that/ this moment' without a preposition preceeding? Please help!

forum.wordreference.com

I'd reread that thread. Absolute rules are hard to form, and this thread is far from conclusive. Language usage is often messy.