[Essay] the reason why I want to choose this university

[ambitious-girl]

Could anyone please check this paragraph?

Firstly, the tuition fees in Virginia Tech university are so reasonable that I can afford to pay them; however, I am on a tight budget and sometimes I have financial difficulties. I addition, the main campus of the university is situated in Blacksburg area where I will be able to pay for all my living expenses without worrying much about them because the cos of living in this city is really affordable.

 

[tedmc]

Could anyone please check this paragraph?

Firstly, the tuition fees in Virginal Tech university are so reasonable that I can afford to pay them; however, I am on a tight budget and sometimes I have financial difficulties. I addition, the main campus of the university is situated in Blacksburg area where I will be able to pay for all my living expenses without worrying much about them because the cos of living in this city is really affordable.

You seem to contradict yourself. In your first sentence, you said you can afford to pay the tuition fees and you also said you have financial difficulty. You should start a new sentence with "however".

I find the tuition fees for Virginal(Virginia?) Tech university reasonable and affordable.
The campus where I will be studying is located in Blacksburg where I find the cost of living affordable.

 

[ambitious-girl]

You seem to contradict yourself. In your first sentence, you said you can afford to pay the tuition fees and you also said you have financial difficulty.

Thanks. But I think you need to read our threads more carefully before you reply to our posts. I said "tuition fess" are so reasonable that although I am in tough budget, I can pay for it. That is why I used "however".

 

[tedmc]

It is not natural to say "tuition fees are so reasonable that..".

Try:
The tuition fees at Virginia Tech University are reasonable though I am on a tight budget and do face financial difficulties at times.

 

[emsr2d2]

"The fees are so reasonable that, even though I am on a tight budget, I can afford them" is OK but that's not really what post #1 suggested.

 

[ambitious-girl]

I rewrite in the following way. Is this OK now?

Firstly, the tuition fees in Virginia Tech university are so reasonable that, even though I am on a tight budget and I do face financial difficulties at times, I can afford them. I addition, the main campus of the university is situated in Blacksburg area where I will be able to pay for all my living expenses without worrying much about them because the cos of living in this city is really affordable.