...the mountain trail...

[rodgers white]

Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

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Gan placed the journal, which he had wrapped in oiled leather, into the crevice. Gan had also brought an extra bow, the one he had when he left his city behind; this too, Gan wrapped in oiled leather with a couple of arrowheads he had made, then placed them on a shelf of rock.

Jingying asked. “Isn’t that bow sentimental?”

Gan said. “Yes, it was the first good bow I made, if my father ever comes here, he will recognise it and the arrowheads, and he will know I left them for him to find.”

The next day, Gan, Jingying, Bailian, and a few others ascended the mountain trail to see what, if anything, was left of the city from which Gan and his people had come. When they reached the top, the sun was at midmorning behind them, and the valley fully lit in before them. Jingying wept.

Someone said, "There is nothing but sand Gan. "

Gan replied. “Once a city of over a million people stood there; now, there is nothing left. What a sad loss for the world".

 

[tedmc]

Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

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Gan placed the journal (no comma) which he had wrapped in oiled leather, into the crevice. Gan had also brought an extra bow, the one he had when he left his city [STRIKE]behind[/STRIKE]; this too, Gan wrapped in oiled leather with a couple of arrowheads he had made, then placed them on a shelf of rock.

Jingying asked. “Isn’t that bow sentimental?”

Gan said. “Yes, it was the first good bow I made. If my father ever comes here, he will recognise it and the arrowheads, and he will know I left them for him to find.”

The next day, Gan, Jingying, Bailian, and a few others ascended the mountain trail to see what, if anything, was left of the city from which Gan and his people had come. When they reached the top, the sun was at mid-morning position behind them, and the valley fully lit [STRIKE]in [/STRIKE]before them. Jingying wept.

Someone said, "There is nothing but sand, Gan. "

Gan replied. “Once a city of over a million people stood there; now, there is nothing left. What a sad loss for the world".

.

 

[Tarheel]

"Isn't that bow sentimental?"

No, it isn't. Because bows don't have sentiments. What do you really mean to say?

What happened to the city? Was it abandoned? Why?

Why does Gan call it his city?

There are more and more mysteries.

 

[rodgers white]

"Isn't that bow sentimental"

No, it isn't. Because bows don't have sentiments. What do you really mean to say?

Actually, Gan answered this question.

What happened to the city? Was it abandoned? Why?

Yeah, it was abandoned long ago because of the bararians' invasion.

Why does Gan call it his city?

Because Gan and his family lived there before the invasion.

There are more and more mysteries.

Hope you can understand now.

 

[Tarheel]

Now I understand that there was an invasion by a hostile power (barbarians). I still don't know why the place was abandoned. There have been many invasions throughout history, but people still kept living in those places. A flood or a drought would explain why the place was abandoned.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Hi there. Would you please proofread the following text? Any help would be appreciated.

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Gan placed the journal, which he had wrapped in oiled leather, into the crevice. Gan had also brought an extra bow, the one he had when he left his city behind; this too, Gan wrapped in oiled leather with a couple of arrowheads he had made, then placed them on a shelf of rock.

Jingying asked, “Don't you feel sentimental about that bow?”

Bows don't have feelings.

Gan said. “Yes, it was the first good bow I made. If my father ever comes here, he will recognise it and the arrowheads, and he will know I left them for him to find.”

The next day, Gan, Jingying, Bailian, and a few others ascended the mountain trail to see what, if anything, was left of the city from which Gan and his people had come. When they reached the top at midmorning, the sun was [STRIKE]at midmorning[/STRIKE] behind them[STRIKE],[/STRIKE] and the valley fully lit [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] before them. Jingying wept.

Midmorning is a time, not a place.

Someone said, "There is nothing but sand, Gan. "

Gan replied, “Once a city of over a million people stood there; now, there is nothing left. What a sad loss for the world".

Too many run-on sentences.

There is only one journal, so the commas before "which" and after "leather" are necessary.