[General] The miracle.

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beachboy

Key Member
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Portuguese
Home Country
Brazil
Current Location
Brazil
Jennifer is a disabled woman who moves in a wheelchair. She could walk until she was 27 when she went hiking. She slipped over a wet rock, fell down on her back and hurt her spine. She became paralytic, paralyzed from waist down. On the morning of July 4th, 2019, as soon as she got up, she saw her husband sitting on their bed looking at her. He looked serious. He said “Jennifer, I’m leaving you and the children. I love somebody else and I’ll be living with her”. She was speechless. He swaggered out of the room and disappeared.
She was devastated. It took her 5 minutes to pull herself together. When she trying to sit on the wheelchair that was lying beside her bed it broke and she fell. She crawled to her bedroom door.
She stood up using the doorknob. She staggered to the sidetable to get her glasses.
With her glasses on, she limped back to the door.
She tiptoed past the children’s room so as not to wake them up.
She stomped around the living room so that she could make sure she was able to walk.
She left the apartment and paced up and down the hall, not believing what she was going through.
She took the elevator, and when she got to the ground floor, a neighbor called Alice, who had been walking her dog, opened the door, surprised.
“OMG, where’s your wheelchair? You can walk! Can you run? I’m running a marathon this Sunday”
“I don’t know yet. I’ll tell you tomorrow. My husband has just walked out on me”.
“Oh yes, I know. Do you want me to walk you to the entrance door?”.
“No, I’m OK, thanks. Bye”.
Out of the building, she began to wander through the streets, and she saw soldiers marching.
There was a crowd of people attending the parade, and she had to trudge through the crowd.
She noticed a man creeping up behind her. She strode into a store, and waited patiently until the man went away. On the way out of the store, she saw a 39 cent pen and walked off with it. She was roaming around the streets when she felt a hand tapping her arm. She screamed. And she woke up. Her husband was sitting on their bed looking at her. He was smiling, in love.
 
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I don't think I have ever seen so many repetition of "she" in such a short piece! Have a look and see if you can combine some of those sentences to remove some instances of "she".
 
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