She locked the insatiable naughty girl inside her for many years

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alpacinou

Key Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
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Interested in Language
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
Is this correct? Can I improve it stylistically?

She locked the insatiable naughty girl inside her for many years and stayed loyal to her husband. Patrick changed everything. He gave her so much pleasure and unleashed her suppressed desires. A Pandora's box had been opened. Jane opened the cage and let that pleasure-seeking girl inside her out.
 
Is this correct? Can I improve it stylistically?

She locked the insatiable naughty girl inside her for many years and stayed loyal to her husband. Patrick changed everything. He gave her so much pleasure and unleashed her suppressed desires. A Pandora's box had been opened. Jane opened the [FONT=-apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, segoe ui, Roboto, helvetica neue, Arial, noto sans, sans-serif, apple color emoji, segoe ui emoji, segoe ui symbol, noto color emoji]box[/FONT] and let that pleasure-seeking girl [STRIKE]inside her[/STRIKE] out.
You had a mixed metaphor. I unmixed it.
 
No problem. I am a metaphorical complexity!
 
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