Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stared into her deep blue eyes, feeling that his love for Tiffany was being lost in Sasha's eyes.

I think it needs work. Any suggestions?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

My suggestion: Just say eyes once.

 

[alpacinou]

Is this okay?

Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stared into her deep blue eyes, feeling that his love for Tiffany was being lost in them.

 

[alpacinou]

Is it too much to use "melt"?

Sasha was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stared into her deep blue eyes, feeling that his love for Tiffany was being melted in them.