Privacy Policy Guidance for a Game App

[Xin Z]

I got two versions of a statement about why a game app would like to collect users's data and how the developer will process it.
I need the one which is concise and native-like.
I prefer the first one, however, my colleague said that was grammatically wrong and confusing for English speakers.
Could you please check which one is better? If the second one is better, could you please abridge it by any chance?

1:
App's Name is supported by ads. To provide better services to all our users, we will collect and share data with our ads partners — from figuring out basic stuff like which part of our game you like most, to more complex things like which ads you’ll find most useful. We believe this is an essential duty and work hard to protect your information and put you in control.
You can update your choice in settings at any time.

2:
App's Name is supported by ads. In order to provide better service to all users, we collect and share data with our advertising partners, which ranges from basic game information (such as which parts of our games you like the most) to more complex data (such as which ads you find most useful). We always believe that protecting user privacy is a very important responsibility, we attach great importance to the protection of user information, and you always have control over your personal information.
You can update your selection at any time in the settings.

 

[Tarheel]

The first is better for a couple of reasons. First, it's shorter. Second, it's easier to read. Third, it doesn't have that sentence in it ("We always believe ...")

 

[emsr2d2]

I got have written two versions of a statement about why a game app would like to collect users' (no extra "s" on a possessive that ends with an "s" already) data and how the developer will process it.
I need to use the one which that is most concise and native-like natural.
I prefer the first one. However, my colleague said that it was grammatically wrong and confusing for English speakers.
Could you please check them both and tell me which one is better? If the second one is better, could you please abridge it? by any chance?

1:
App's Name [Name of app] is supported by ads. To provide a better services service to all our users, we will collect and share data with our ads ad/advertising partners; this ranges from figuring out the basics, stuff like such as which part of our game you like most, to more complex things like such as which ads you’ll find most useful. We believe this is an essential duty and we work hard to protect your information and put you in control.
You can update your choices in Settings at any time.

2:
App's Name [Name of app] is supported by ads. In order to provide a better service to all users, we collect and share data with our advertising partners; which this ranges from basic game information (such as which parts of our games you like the most) to more complex data (such as which ads you find most useful). We always believe that protecting user privacy is a very important responsibility, we attach great importance to the protection of user information, and you always have control over your personal information.
You can update your selection at any time in the Settings.

See above for my suggested changes. I'm not going to say I prefer one over the other because I strongly suspect that there is likely to be a legal wording you should use regarding the use of people's data.

 

[Tarheel]

If you are comparing two things one or the other is more of something, but neither is, generally speaking, the most.