Please spot the mistakes in this paragraph.

[Muhammad Raza Wynne]

The narrator of story starts categorizing and surveying people. He gets a great deal of information regarding the people merely by noting their minor details. For instance, he notices that a man is a clerk by noticing his ear, that has came out a little. It indicates that he stores a pen behind his ear.

 

[teechar]

Is that supposed to be a summary, and why are you writing it?

 

[Muhammad Raza Wynne]

It's not a summary but a little piece from that. I'm writing it to improve my English. So how do you find it? Is it without errors?

 

[emsr2d2]

The narrator of the story starts categorizing and surveying people. He gets a great deal of information [STRIKE]regarding[/STRIKE] about [STRIKE]the people[/STRIKE] them merely by noting [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] minor details. For instance, he [STRIKE]notices[/STRIKE] works out/deduces that a man is a clerk by noticing that his ear (no comma here) [STRIKE]that has came[/STRIKE] sticks out a little. It indicates that he [STRIKE]stores[/STRIKE] regularly keeps/tucks a pen behind his ear.

See above.

 

[teechar]

I don't think "of the story" is all that necessary. I also suspect you need "starts by" instead of "starts" in that excerpt.