Please proofread this referee report I wrote for a scholarship applicant

[Tsoglog]

Due to my experience in US, I believe that students from Asian countries are usually accustomed to lecture based classes. Universities in western countries usually involve group discussions, seminar and interactive learning techniques that international students may not be very familiar or comfortable with. Therefore i believe that he will need more exposure in the mentioned areas and adjust to self-directed, independent learning that is usually required in western classrooms.


From my research, Australia is a very multicultural country; you can find people from different cultures and nations living together here. Still, the "land down under" has its distinct culture that may be different from Mongolia. As with any foreign culture, foreign students can find a culture change confronting at times. Thus, i believe that Battsoglog should accept the cultural differences and keep an open mind. Eventually, he'll learn to adapt to the changes and be able to integrate himself into the Australian way of living.


From my perspective, exposure to International Companies and experience is crucial to XXXXXXX due to his limited real-life experience to the world-wide companies. Moreover, by having more experience and relationship with global organizations will act as a catalyst for him to reach incredible heights in his career. Thus, I believe that the development in this particular area will be necessary for him to complete his studies.


Overall, while he has many strong points, the above mentioned issues would may prove to become a bit of a hurdle in his studies. However, I believe that he could overcome all of that.


Sincerely,
XXXXXXX.X
General Manager
XXXXXXXX LLC

 

[teechar]

Due to my experience in US, I believe that students from Asian countries are usually accustomed to lecture-based classes. Universities in Western countries usually involve group discussions, seminar and interactive learning techniques that international students may not be very familiar or comfortable with. Therefore, I believe that he will need more exposure in the mentioned areas and adjust to self-directed, independent learning that is usually required in western classrooms.

From my research, Australia is a very multicultural country; you can find people from different cultures and nationalities living together here. Still, the "land down under" has its distinct culture that may be different from Mongolia. As with any foreign culture, foreign students can find any culture change confronting at times. Thus, I believe that Battsoglog should accept the cultural differences and keep an open mind. Eventually, he'll learn to adapt to the [STRIKE]changes[/STRIKE] environment and be able to integrate himself [STRIKE]into the[/STRIKE] Australian culture and society. [STRIKE]way of living.[/STRIKE]

From my perspective, exposure to international companies and experience is crucial to XXXXXXX due to his limited real-life experience [STRIKE]to the world-wide[/STRIKE] with international companies. Moreover, [STRIKE]by[/STRIKE] having more experience in and [STRIKE]relationship with[/STRIKE] exposure to global organizations will act as a catalyst for him to reach [STRIKE]incredible heights in[/STRIKE] his career goals. Thus, I believe that [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] development in this particular area will be necessary for him to complete his studies.

Overall, while he has many strong points, the above-mentioned [STRIKE]issues would[/STRIKE] points may prove [STRIKE]to become[/STRIKE] a bit of a hurdle in his studies. However, I believe that he [STRIKE]could[/STRIKE] is well able to overcome all of that.


Sincerely,

XXXXXXX.X

General Manager
XXXXXXXX LLC

I don't understand the parts in blue.

 

[Tsoglog]

"Due to my experience in US" - It was meant to be "From my understanding of western education"
"should accept" - i tried to write that he should adapt into cultural differences and accept the changes
"more exposure in the mentioned areas" - It was meant to cover the Classes and courses that i mentioned before

 

[Tsoglog]

Thank you for your help!

Can I be shameless enough to ask for the following text's corrections?

"Innovation at it's core is crucial to all fields and that goes especially for Business. By studying and interacting with International experts and Scholars will open an avenue for an endless opportunity that could help both XXXXX and XXXXX. When He finish his study abroad program and return home, he will return with a new perspective on culture, language skills, a great education, and a willingness to learn. With great experience and academic knowledge, I believe that XXXXXX will act as a bridge that will connect our countries in the area of Business and much more. Moreover, one innovative business idea will be beneficial to all fields in our country."

 

[teechar]

"Due to my experience in US" - It was meant to be "From my understanding of western education".

[STRIKE]I believe that[/STRIKE] Students from Asian countries are usually accustomed to lecture-based classes, but studying at universities in Western countries usually involves group discussions, seminar and interactive learning techniques that international students may not be very familiar or comfortable with.

"should accept" - i tried to write that he should adapt into cultural differences and accept the changes.

Thus, I believe that Battsoglog [STRIKE]should[/STRIKE] needs to accept the cultural differences and keep an open mind.

"more exposure in the mentioned areas" - It was meant to cover the Classes and courses that i mentioned before

Therefore, I believe that he will need more exposure in the above-mentioned [STRIKE]areas[/STRIKE] subjects and adjust himself to self-directed, independent learning that is usually required in Western classrooms.

Thank you for your help!
Can I [STRIKE]be shameless enough to[/STRIKE] ask [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] you also to correct the following text? [STRIKE]'s corrections?[/STRIKE]

That's okay, but in future, please wait for us to finish dealing with one text before posting a new one. Also, start new threads for any unrelated texts.

Innovation, at its core, is crucial to all fields and that goes especially for business. [STRIKE]By[/STRIKE] Studying and interacting with international experts and scholars will [STRIKE]open an avenue for an[/STRIKE] pave the way for endless opportunities that could help both XXXXX and XXXXX. When he finishes his study-abroad program and returns home, he will return with a new perspective on culture, and will have strong language skills, a great education, and a willingness to continue learning. With great experience and academic knowledge, I believe that XXXXXX will act as a bridge that will connect our countries in the area of business and much more. Moreover, [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE] any innovative business ideas that XXXXX may contribute when he returns will be beneficial to all fields in our country."

 

[Tsoglog]

Wow, Thank you very much!
Much Appreciated!

 

[teechar]

Wow, Thank you very much!
Much Appreciated!

You're welcome.
Note that you don't need to write a post to say thank you. Clicking Thank/Like is sufficient.