[Essay] Please kindly check my essay ( MAP )

[wowsky3]

Hi , Please check my essay it about a map essay. if any one can check my essay kindly .

The map shows the growth of a village called Chorleywood between 1868 and 1994.

From 1868 and 1883, the village covers small area next to the one of the main roads. Next, a new Chorleywood park and golf course have been built on the center of the village.

From 1883 and 1922, Chorleywood station constructed on the south of the village.

From 1922 and 1970, a motorway was built to the east of the village.

From 1970 and 1994, the village became one of large village. Furthermore, development of the village took place around motorway intersections with railway and one of the main roads

 

[emsr2d2]

For a start, we don't say "From 1998 and 2003". It's "From 1998 until 2003" or "Between 1998 and 2003". They are not quite the same. Research them and then decide which one you need, then you can edit your post.

 

[mehdi 100]

If you are analyzing a process, diagram or a graph, you should mention about the type of the growth provided by them.
What do you mean by "growth of village" in line two? In this case, you may refer to a growth in facilities provided in the village.
By line two, you are popping up too many questions in readers' mind, simply because there are different kinds of growth. For example there might be a growth in population of the village.
Each sentence you write should be clear.

My English knowledge is not great; please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[emsr2d2]

When are you going to submit this essay to your teacher for marking?

 

[wowsky3]

When are you going to submit this essay to your teacher for marking?

I need to know which part is wrong , I am doing more practice on writing for IELTS Academic

This is the MAP


Thanks