Please help to correct/ improve !

[Anna0503]

Hi everybody

I am applying for a master program, there are 5 questions in the application form to be answered.
The one of them is: What business that you have seen internationally has inspired you? I wrote an answer, but pretty unsure about it :-D
So i hope that someone can help me to improve and/or correct mistakes. I appreciate every idea
My answer: The company, that inspires me, is the Internet giant Google Inc., that has the most successful search engine in the world. Despite existing other competitors like Yahoo, Google Inc. continues to be No. 1 in Internet area. To be successful is not easy job and Google does its best. It has the best results for their users; they invest far more in technology than any other search engine. It’s known as a company with the best work environment. They have figured out how to make money with advertisement without losing their users, thus they become one of the profitable companies in the world. Google is a brand. Impressive.

(It must be rather formal style)

Thank you!

Best regards,

Anna

 

[billmcd]

Hi everybody

I am applying for a master program, there are 5 questions in the application form to be answered.
The one of them is: What business that you have seen internationally has inspired you? I wrote an answer, but pretty unsure about it :-D
So i hope that someone can help me to improve and/or correct mistakes. I appreciate every idea
My answer: The company that inspires me is the internet giant, Google Inc. [STRIKE] that [/STRIKE] It has the most successful search engine in the world. [STRIKE] Despite /STRIKE] In spite of [STRIKE] existing [/STRIKE] other competitors like Yahoo, Google Inc. continues to be No. 1 among search-engine competitors [STRIKE] in [/STRIKE][STRIKE] Internet area [/STRIKE] . To be successful is not easy [STRIKE] job [/STRIKE] and Google does it[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] best. It [STRIKE] has [/STRIKE] provides the best results for [STRIKE] their [/STRIKE] its users; they invest far more in technology than any other search-engine. [STRIKE]It’s[/STRIKE] It is known also as a company with the best work environment. They have figured out how to make money with advertisement but without losing their users, thus they have become one of the most profitable companies in the world. Google is an impressive enterprise.

(It must be rather formal style)

Thank you!

Best regards,

Anna

Suggestions. Good luck.

 

[Anna0503]

thank you