Please help me to correct this request letter:

[maildor]

Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing this letter to request an extension in the deadline for submitting my TOEFL and GMAT scores, the application deadline for international students is February 1, for fall admission, but I can’t get the TOEFL and GMAT until the end of April.
I’m currently working full time, and also studying Bachelor’s Degree programme in networks, web and telecommunication, at the xxxxxxx University, ÉCOLE NATIONALE xxxxxx in xxxxx, I will get my bachelor's degree by the end of this month,

I’m looking forward to apply to the Master of Business Administration program for the 2017 Fall admission at the xxxxxxxxx UNIVERSITY. However, due to a work commitment and the late end of Bachelor’s programme, I formally request an extension to the submission deadline and undertake to deliver TOEFL and GMAT scores by the end of April, moreover I can submitting my application and all other supporting documents at time.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,

 

[teechar]

Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing this letter to request an extension [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to the deadline for submitting my TOEFL and GMAT scores; the application deadline for international students is 1 February 2017, for fall admission, but I [STRIKE]can’t get the[/STRIKE] will not have my TOEFL and GMAT scores until the end of April.

I'm currently working full time, and also studying for my bachelor’s degree [STRIKE]programme[/STRIKE] in networks, web and telecommunications, at the xxxxxxx University, Ecole Nationale [STRIKE]ÉCOLE NATIONALE[/STRIKE] xxxxxx in xxxxx. I will [STRIKE]get my bachelor's degree[/STRIKE] graduate [STRIKE]by[/STRIKE] at the end of this month,

I'm [STRIKE]looking forward to[/STRIKE] interested in applying [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for the Master of Business Administration program for the 2017 fall admission at the xxxxxxxxx University. [STRIKE]UNIVERSITY.[/STRIKE] However, due to a work commitment and the late [STRIKE]end[/STRIKE] finish of my bachelor’s programme, I formally request an extension to the submission deadline and [STRIKE]undertake to deliver[/STRIKE] and confirm that I will provide my TOEFL and GMAT scores by the end of April 2017. moreover I can submitting my application and all other supporting documents at time. [I don't understand that. Are you asking them or telling them something?]

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,

.

 

[maildor]

.

Tahnk you very much teechar.​

 

[teechar]

Thank you very much teechar.
​

You're welcome. Note that you can just click Thank/Like in future to thank someone on the forum. You don't need to write a new post for that. ;-)