Please help me correcting and improving this short paragraph.

[DON_QUIXOTE]

During the last seven years our son has been attending one of the best school in New York City. Edison Ms School has offered him high quality learn environment,and great academic standards. We want to keep offering him the best education possible. We believe Almansor HS will provide him with a great education, excellent learning environment and ethics codes. As parents, we are aware of the cost of the tuition at Almansor Hs. Nevertheless, we hope to qualify for financial aid since we cannot afford to pay full tuition fee. In return for your financial support we are committedto take all the necessary steps to help as much as possible with his tuition fee. We are ready to embrace the commitments and challenges at Almanson Hs. Your support will be highly appreciated.

 

[emsr2d2]

[STRIKE]During[/STRIKE] For the last seven years our son has been attending one of the best schools in New York City. Edison Ms School has offered him a high quality learning environment (no comma required here) and great academic standards. We want to keep offering him the best education possible. We believe Almansor HS will provide him with a great education, an excellent learning environment and a code of ethics. [STRIKE]codes[/STRIKE] As parents, we are aware of the cost of the tuition at Almansor Hs. Nevertheless, we hope to qualify for financial aid since we cannot afford to pay full the tuition fee. In return for your financial support we are committed (space required here) to [STRIKE]take[/STRIKE] taking all the necessary steps to help as much as possible with his tuition fee. We are ready to embrace the commitments and challenges at Almanson Hs. Your support will be highly appreciated.

See above.