please give me some advice on the information interview.

[wulala]

Dear Mr. Xia,
My name is XXX XXX, a senior student in the School of XXX, XXX University. Apart from my major, I am passionate about language learning and can speak English and French fluently. And after graduate,Ｉhope to be able to pursue a job as a teacher of language. Last night, after listening to your infectious speech on how to learn English well, I was deeply impressed and inspired. And the values behind your new company really resonate with my perspectives on English learning.

Given that you have many experiences in language teaching, it would be great if you could take 10-15 minutes of your time to give me some guides, and I'd love to hear your insight on the future of English learners and the story of your company, if it would be convenience for you. If u would like to contact me, I can be reached at Frisbee XXX.
I really look forward to learning from you.
Sincerely,
XXX XXX

 

[teechar]

Dear Mr. Xia,

My name is XXX XXX. I am a senior student at the School of XXX, XXX University. [STRIKE]Apart from my major,[/STRIKE] I am passionate about language learning and can speak English and French fluently. [STRIKE]And[/STRIKE] After I graduate, I hope to [STRIKE]be able to[/STRIKE] pursue a [STRIKE]job[/STRIKE] career as a language teacher. [STRIKE]of language.[/STRIKE] Last night, after listening to your [STRIKE]infectious[/STRIKE] captivating speech on how to learn English well, I was deeply impressed and inspired. And the values behind your new company really resonate with my perspectives on English learning.

Given that you have [STRIKE]many[/STRIKE] much experience in language teaching, it would be great if you could take 10-15 minutes of your time to give me some guidelines, and I'd love to hear your insight on the [STRIKE]future of[/STRIKE] outlook for English teaching [STRIKE]learners[/STRIKE] and the story of your company, if that is appropriate, of course. [STRIKE]it would be convenience for you. If u would like[/STRIKE] Please feel free to contact me [STRIKE], I can be reached[/STRIKE] at Frisbee XXX.

I really look forward to learning from you.

Sincerely,

XXX XXX

.

 

[wulala]

sincerely thank you for your reply, but I do not quite understand why you change the phrase "if it would be convenient for you" to "if that is appropriate, of course". The last one seems always happen in the templates of emails. Please feel free to explain.

 

[Rover_KE]

You wrote '...if it would be convenience for you' (not 'convenient').

teechar's alternative expression is much better.