Please edit this short e-mail please, thank you!

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Tsoglog

Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Mongolian
Home Country
Mongolia
Current Location
Mongolia
Dear XXXXXXXXX,

Good day to you! I’ve been planning to make a trip to the countryside on this Saturday and will be back on 12[SUP]th[/SUP] of August. Thus, I would like to make an inquiry on the application process, if that doesn’t bother you.

Sincerely,
XXXXXXXXXX
 
What a baffling concept! What have your plans to visit the countryside for the next 9 days got to do with wanting to enquire about the application process for an unspecified thing?

Try to write the letter again making it very clear what you are trying to say. Who are you writing to? What do you want to apply for? Why does it matter that you are going away for a few days?
 
Sorry about not clarifying things.
1. It was meant to be "admission letter" not "application process"
2. I'm writing this to the assistant professor who's in charge of admission.
3. I've already applied to the school and waiting for the admission letter at the moment.
4. The place that I'm going to, which is quite a rural place, has no internet, and therefore I need to make some changes to my schedule if the letter arrives when I'm out of town.

Thank you for your notice!
 
Dear [name of assistant professor]

I applied for admission to [name of school] on [date of application].

I need to advise you that I will be away from home, with no internet access, from August 5th, returning on August 12th. Can you let me know if you are likely to email my admission letter while I am away?

Yours sincerely

[Your name]
 
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