Please correct my letter

[hai_lua_t2]

Dear Mr. ABC,

I am John who is using the community hall along with other musicians every Friday night. The hall is a really good place for Jazz shows for community. We get many supports as well as many requests come to us to make the shows more often. People are very interested in Jazz and the shows help us connect people closer and closer in town. We are trying to maintain and improve those activities as much as we can.

However, the new decision from people committee does not allow us to use the hall anymore. It is going to cause many difficulties since we would not find a good place for music as the hall. Moreover, I am afraid that we have to stop the shows. It is really a regret if we don't have the shows for community. I'm thinking the new way to use the hall if it is possible. I suggest to use it on Tuesday and Thursday in the late evening, after all other activities stopped.

I hope that you will accept my idea or any other solution which allow us to use the hall is really appreciated. I believe that the shows with high quality will come in the future if we can do on the hall.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

John

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear Mr. ABC,

I am John [STRIKE]who is using[/STRIKE] and I use the community hall along with other musicians every Friday night. The hall is a really good place for jazz shows for community. We get [STRIKE]many supports[/STRIKE] a lot of support as well as many requests [STRIKE]come to[/STRIKE] asking us to [STRIKE]make[/STRIKE] put on/stage the shows more often. People are very interested in jazz and the shows help us [STRIKE]connect[/STRIKE] bring people [STRIKE]closer and closer[/STRIKE] in the town closer together. We are trying to [STRIKE]maintain and[/STRIKE] improve [STRIKE]those[/STRIKE] these activities as much as we can.

However, the [STRIKE]new decision from people[/STRIKE] committee [STRIKE]does not[/STRIKE] has decided not to allow us to use the hall anymore. It is going to cause [STRIKE]many difficulties[/STRIKE] a lot of problems [STRIKE]since[/STRIKE] because we would not be able to find such a good place for music as the hall. [STRIKE]Moreover[/STRIKE] As a result, I [STRIKE]am afraid[/STRIKE] fear that we will have to stop the shows completely. [STRIKE]It is really a regret[/STRIKE] It would be a real shame if we [STRIKE]don't have[/STRIKE] couldn't put on the shows for community. I'm [STRIKE]thinking[/STRIKE] wondering if [STRIKE]the new[/STRIKE] there is some way for us to use the hall. [STRIKE]if it is possible.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]I suggest[/STRIKE] Would it be possible for us to use it on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the late evening, after [STRIKE]all[/STRIKE] other activities [STRIKE]stopped[/STRIKE] have finished?

I hope that you will accept my idea or [STRIKE]any[/STRIKE] or that we can find another solution which will allow us to use the hall. [STRIKE]is really appreciated.[/STRIKE] I believe that [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] high quality shows [STRIKE]with high quality[/STRIKE] will [STRIKE]come[/STRIKE] happen in the future if we can [STRIKE]do on[/STRIKE] sort something out with the hall.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

John

See above.

 

[hai_lua_t2]

Dear Teacher,

I'm very sorry for many mistakes. However, there are some points I would like to have a deeper understanding.

I am John who is using and I use the community ==> I don't know why we shouldn't use relative pronoun here
I am afraid fear that ==> What is the difference between "be afraid" vs fear? As my understanding, the meaning is the same.

Thanks a lot!