Please clear if any mistakes in this memo

[sanjfer]

It has been observed that the Receptionists are spending a great deal of working hours using the office computers and internet facilities for visiting social networking sites and gaming sites during the duty hours.

Using business resources for non-business related tasks is against the rule.

Therefore, all are requested to refrain from using the office computer for the above purposes. Violation of the said order is considered an administrative offence and severe disciplinary action will be taken against the committer.

 

[SoothingDave]

It's not against the rule?

 

[Roman55]

It needs to be rewritten; I'll let someone else do that.

What I don't understand is, if it isn't against the rules, what's the problem?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

It has been observed that the receptionists are spending a great deal of working hours using the office computers and Internet facilities for visiting social networking sites and gaming sites while on duty.

Using business resources for non-business-related tasks is against the rules.

Therefore, all are requested to refrain from using the office computer for the above purposes. Violation is an administrative offence, and severe disciplinary action will be taken.

It's too wordy. You have too many unneeded phrases, which weakens the memo.

"Committer" is not a word.

I'm glad I don't work there!

 

[emsr2d2]

Make it a lot simpler.

It has been noted that some staff are using the business/office IT systems for personal use. Please remember that such use is prohibited and is punishable with disciplinary action.