please check this paragraph for me

[robin lee]

Hello

Could someone please correct any errors in this paragraph. Thank you.

His potential employer has requested him to provide a list of his agents and contact information for these people as well as records from any organizations, that he used to work, which are able to confirm his previous work history.

 

[TheFuzzyTie]

His potential employer has requested [STRIKE]him to [/STRIKE] that he provide a list of his agents and contact information for these people (who?) as well as records from any organizations[STRIKE],[/STRIKE] that he used to work for[STRIKE], which[/STRIKE] that are able to confirm his previous jobs [STRIKE]work history[/STRIKE].

Most of your errors here are in streamlining and are understandable. The only thing that sticks out is when you say "these people." What people? Explain this in your paragraph.

 

[tedtmc]

a list of his agents and their contact information [STRIKE]for these people [/STRIKE]

This has been posted in the 'Ask the Teacher' sub-forum to which I responded. ;-)