Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

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rodgers white

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
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Dear Mr. Smith,

I’m writing on behalf of my class to extend our warm welcome to you. Here are some of expectations for your English class.

First, we’d like to have topics in class about Western culture. We are all very interested in knowing more about the culture behind the language. Besides, we’d appreciate various activities to get everyone involved in speaking English. Last but not least, please give us some guidance and training in our pronunciation, because we all hope to speak English fluently and clearly just as you native speakers do.

Yours,

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The above is a writing practice for my students. It presumes that you are writing a welcome letter to your new English teacher Mr. Smith on behalf of your class, and at the same time you will express some expectations in and out of his English class for your classmates as well. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.
 
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Dear Mr. Smith,

I’m writing on behalf of my class to extend our warm welcome to you. Here are some of expectations for your English class.

On behalf of my class, I would like to extend a warm welcome to you. We have come up with some suggestions for you for our forthcoming English class.
("Expectation" is not a nice word to use when you asking something from people)


First, we’d like to have topics in class about Western culture. We are all very interested in knowing more about the culture behind the language. Besides, we’d appreciate that you organize various activities to get everyone involved in speaking English. Last but not least, please give us some guidance and training in our pronunciation, because we all hope to speak English fluently and clearly just as you native speakers do.
 
This entire context is unnatural. Students do not write such letters to their new teachers. As tedmc has pointed out, "expectations" is not the right word for a student to use when addressing their teacher.
 
This entire context is unnatural. Students do not write such letters to their new teachers. As tedmc has pointed out, "expectations" is not the right word for a student to use when addressing their teacher.
I'm really sorry for my poor writing, teechar. Could you please give me an example on how to write such a letter in a natural way if you have time? Many thanks in advance!
 
It's rather difficult to advise you on how to write such a letter when, as teechar said, students don't write these kinds of letters to their teachers. Most students here have no idea they're getting a new teacher until the teacher marches into the classroom for the first time. The teacher would just say "Hi, I'm your new teacher, Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms [surname]. Let's get started, shall we?"
 
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It's rather difficult to advise you on how to write such a letter when, as teechar said, students don't write these kinds of letters to their teachers. Most students here have no idea they're getting a new teacher until the teacher marches into the classroom for the first time. The teacher would just say "Hi, I'm your new teacher Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms [surname]. Let's get started, shall we?"
I totally agree with you and teechar. It's an unnatural context. So, I will not assign this as my students' writing homework. However, since I have already posted my attempt at writing this letter here, can you please give me some suggestions in terms of the language itself?
 
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Dear Mr. Smith,

[STRIKE]I’m writing[/STRIKE] On behalf of my class, I would like to extend [STRIKE]our[/STRIKE] a warm welcome to you. [STRIKE]Here are some of expectations for[/STRIKE] I'd like to give you some hints/tips about your new English class.

[STRIKE]First, we’d[/STRIKE] We would like to [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] cover topics [STRIKE]in class[/STRIKE] about Western culture. We are all very interested in knowing more about the culture behind the language. [STRIKE]Besides[/STRIKE] Also, we’d appreciate the opportunity to take part in various activities [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] that get everyone involved in speaking English. Last but not least, [STRIKE]please give us some guidance and training in[/STRIKE] we would really benefit from help with our pronunciation, because we all hope to speak English fluently and clearly, just [STRIKE]as[/STRIKE] like [STRIKE]you[/STRIKE] native speakers. [STRIKE]do. [/STRIKE]

Yours,

See my suggested version above. I'm not saying that all the parts I crossed out were wrong - it's just that I would write it a little differently.
 
See my suggested version above. I'm not saying that all the parts I crossed out were wrong - it's just that I would write it a little differently.
Thanks for your thoughtful explanation. As for me, it is your way of thinking in English counts. I have found it so hard to get the hang of it since I began learning English. Thinking about everything in English like native speakers is kind of mission impossible to me. Thus, the biggest challenge for me is dealing with the frustration that comes with not being able to fully express yourself in a natural English. Thanks to the support from both you and teechar-you two are so helpful and inspiring, I have understood I need patience, passion, and perseverance to reach my goal-speak and write just as native speakers do.
 
it is your way of thinking in English that counts.

not being able to fully express [STRIKE]yourself in a[/STRIKE] myself in natural English.
.
 
..fully express yourself in [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] (no article) natural English.

There should be a space before and after a dash. Otherwise it is read as a hyphen.
 
..fully express yourself in [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] (no article) natural English.

There should be a space before and after a dash. Otherwise it is read as a hyphen.

My friend, tedmc, you mean it should write like this:
Thus, the biggest challenge for me is dealing with the frustration that comes with not being able to fully express myself in natural English. Thanks to the support from both you and teechar - you two are so helpful and inspiring, I have understood I need patience, passion, and perseverance to reach my goal - speak and write just as native speakers do.
Is that right, tedmc?
 
..you and teechar-you two are so helpful and inspiring, I have understood I need patience, passion, and perseverance to reach my goal-speak and write just as native speakers do.

Yes, rodgers white, that looks better than what you have written previously(as above).
 
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