Peter's stag party ended in disgrace

[Bassim]

Have I made any mistakes?


Peter's stag party ended in disgrace after he and his friends, high on drugs and alcohol, smashed a hotel lobby. When he called his fiancée from police custody to tell her what he had done, Gina immediately broke off their engagement and told him he had to find another woman, because she was not willing to live with someone who still behaved like a spoilt teenager.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

It's fine as is.

If I were editing it, I'd say smashed up. The connotations are slightly different:

- Smashed the lobby = completely destroyed it, as if Godzilla stepped on it.
- Smashed up the lobby = broke a lot of the things in it.

And I'd say jail rather than police custody. That's where he's calling from. Police custody isn't a place, it's a situaition. It's hard to call from a situation.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

Peter's stag party ended horribly after he and his friends, inebriated from alcohol and other drugs, smashed up the hotel lobby.

He probably didn't feel ashamed until after he sobered up.

 

[Tdol]

You could say trashed if you want a single word.