THOUGHTFUL
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- Jan 19, 2017
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Should U.S. assist developing countries with immunization. Support your views with examples.
Should the U.S. assist developing countries with immunizations? Support your views with examples.
Can you tell us where you found that essay prompt please?
I will do my best to enhance my writing skills by analyze my essays with the help of this essay.Also, please tell us what you are going to do with your essay once it's finished.
You did not quote the prompt correctly, and that made it seem as if it was poorly coined. :-( It is very important that you quote text exactly as you find it. You omitted "the" from "the US" and "efforts" from the end of that prompt. That may not seem important to you, but it is!
You only have two usable (against) points. Try again. Think hard!Supporting Points :
1. Globelization spreading diseases all over the world.Their eradication is necessary. [That's off topic.]
2. Developed countries like The U.S. have better plan and sources to deal with diseases. [I'm not sure how this relates to that essay. I suspect this is also off topic.]
3. Diseases are curse for humanity, we should resolve it by unitedly. [Why?]
Opposing Ideas:
1. Diseases are indirectly controlling the population. [What?! That's off topic and potentially highly controversial!]
2. It will burden the U.S. economy and their people. [Usable point]
3. Developing countries have to take serious and basic steps. Any help is only a waste of money without these steps. [Usable point]
Supporting points:
1.To support all countries as a team to fight against any epidemic which could spread globally. [OK]
2.To analyze the effect of new discovered medications on different people belonged to developed as well as developing countries. [Not OK! This is very controversial! People are not guinea pigs!]
3. Donating to the developing countries is better option than throw the surplus medication before expire. [OK]
You could have also mentioned the humanitarian aspect in the supporting points.Opposing ideas:
1. Immunization is not as effective in developing countries as developed one because of several reason. [That's unclear.]
2. The basic needs are incomplete in developing countries which have to fulfill before immunization. [That's off topic.]
3. The medication only cure the disease not the cause of diseases.[OK; same as opposing point #3 in post #8 above]
[You can also use opposing point #2 in post #8 above]
May I write two essay one in support and other in oppose?
Yes, but not at this stage!May I write two essays- one in support and the other against? [STRIKE]in oppose?[/STRIKE]
It is necessary for all countries to work together to eradicate diseases which can spread worldwide. [STRIKE]those maladies.[/STRIKE]
Every year in the U.S., thousands of [STRIKE]extra medications[/STRIKE] surplus vaccines are left to pile up and gather dust. [STRIKE]produced and purchased for health.[/STRIKE]
It is our moral duty to help those who are in need. [STRIKE]dying.[/STRIKE]
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