People got into an argument

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Bassim

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Mar 1, 2008
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Student or Learner
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Bosnian
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Bosnia Herzegovina
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Sweden
Would you please take a look at my sentences, which will be part of my short story. I am not sure if my punctuation is correct.

People got into an argument as if their views could change anything. Engineers, teachers, professors, office workers and the others competed with each other with their intelligence and knowledge only to understand later on how meaningless their debate had been, for frequently a drunk, furious guard would burst inside brandishing a club or a baseball bat and beat people at random. It was as if a boat was cleaving through the sea--the sea of humans, who screamed, cowered against each other and shielded their heads.
 
People got into an argument as if their views could change anything. Engineers, teachers, professors, office workers and the others competed with each other [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] using their [STRIKE]intelligence[/STRIKE] intellect and knowledge, only to understand later [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] how meaningless their debate had been, for frequently a drunk, furious guard would burst inside brandishing a club or a baseball bat and beat people at random. It was as if a boat was cleaving through the sea-- the sea of humans, who screamed, cowered against each other and shielded their heads.

Consider:
- Changing "got into an argument" to "got into arguments."
- Using "futile" instead of "meaningless."
 
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