[Grammar] Packing

[MAJSH]

One of the metal shelves was found to be damaged. The top shelf and brackets were packed together, so scratches were occurred by chafing between them. The top shelf and bracket ought to be packed in a separate package, so that they could have avoided these damages.

Upon inspection, one of the chandeliers was found to be damaged: the glass shade and finial bottom are broken. / Upon inspection, one of the chandeliers was found to be damaged: the glass shade and finial bottom were broken.

Please advise me if the sentences above are grammatically correct.

 

[tedmc]

[STRIKE]One of the metal shelves[/STRIKE] The dismantled top shelf was found to be [STRIKE]damaged[/STRIKE] scratched. [STRIKE]The top shelf and brackets were[/STRIKE] It was packed together with the brackets, [STRIKE]so scratches were occurred by chafing between them[/STRIKE] which resulted in it being scratched. [STRIKE]The top shelf and bracket ought to be packed in a separate package, so that they could have avoided these damages.
[/STRIKE] The damage could have been avoided if they had been packed separately.
Upon inspection, one of the chandeliers was found to be damaged: the glass shade and [STRIKE]finial[/STRIKE] bottom finial [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] were broken. [STRIKE]/ Upon inspection, one of the chandeliers was found to be damaged: the glass shade and finial bottom were broken.[/STRIKE]

Please advise me if the sentences above are grammatically correct.

See above. I think the report could have been more concise by going straight into the items in question.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Or:

One shelf is damaged. The top shelf and brackets were packed together, and the brackets scratched the shelf. The [STRIKE]top[/STRIKE] shelf and bracket should have been packed separately[STRIKE] so that they could have avoided these damages[/STRIKE].

Upon inspection, One [STRIKE]of the[/STRIKE] chandelier[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] is also [STRIKE]found to be[/STRIKE] damaged. The glass shade and finial [STRIKE]bottom[/STRIKE] are broken. [STRIKE]/ Upon inspection, one of the chandeliers was found to be damaged: the glass shade and finial bottom were broken.[/STRIKE]

Please advise me on whether the sentences above are grammatically correct.

K..IS.S.: Keep It Simple, Sweetie!