[General] Naming two behaviors

[beju]

Since forever I've had a problem with naming these two behaviors, which I think are pretty common especially among couples I've searched the Internet but I realized I don't really know what to search for... So I hope somebody here can help me Sorry in advance for poor descriptions, my English is quite bad, but I hope you will get what I mean.

1. In a discussion (or more likely in an argument :-D), a person I'm talking with sticks to specific word I said, often taken out of context, and tries to build whole new (often ridiculous) logic around that single word, usually diverging from main topic of the discussion. Long story short: I say a word, then suddenly this word, or the way I said it becomes the main topic. How do I call this behavior and how do I confront somebody about it? For example: "You're ... (doing something. But what?)"

2. Trying to find a problem in some specific matter at all costs, or being very strict about smallest mistake somebody made.

In my native language there is a single word for these types of behavior, but I can't imagine that they magically don't occur among native English speakers, so there must be some descriptive way or idioms to "name" them:-D

Thanks in advance for any help!

 

[Tdol]

1 This could be twisting an argument or a straw man argument.

I can't think of a term for the second, but we could say that someone is doing this at all costs.

 

[kilroy65]

2. Can we also say "fault-finding"?

 

[Rover_KE]

beju, some of our members are native Polish-speakers.

They may have some insights if you post the relevant Polish words you mentioned.

 

[emsr2d2]

Please click on Edit Post and remove all those unnecessary emoticons in post #1.

 

[Tdol]

2. Can we also say "fault-finding"?

We could use it or some variation depending on the wording of the sentence, but I do prefer nit-picking.

 

[TheParser]

NOT A TEACHER

Hello,

I agree with the Editor: nitpick is probably the most appropriate word.

Here is an example for you:

A few years ago, a moderator at a grammar website wanted to ban me. So -- as you said -- he tried his best "to find a problem in some specific matter at all costs." He even objected to my praising a particular grammarian!

 

[Tdol]

Whatever my name, I was only agreeing with someone else's suggestion. :up:

 

[Raymott]

"... being very strict about smallest mistake somebody made."
It could also be pedantry, though this doesn't define the first half of your sentence.

"...so there must be some descriptive way or idioms to "name" them."
This is a fallacy. There are very many common behaviours for which there is no specific name or idiom, for example putting one's shoes and socks on in the same order every time.

 

[GoesStation]

Isn't that a mild form of obsessive-compulsive disorder?


(Not a doctor)

Only if it meets minimum diagnostic criteria. If it doesn't, you can call it obsessive behavior.

 

[Tdol]

It could be, but the term alone would not lead us to understanding how they put their socks on.

PS I actually do that, but it is because of my bad back. :up:

 

[Barb_D]

When a person is determined to find something wrong, you could say "He's going on a witch hunt" or "He's determined to find some sort of smoking gun."

For the first one, despite how vague it sounds: "Don't make this about THAT. Let's stick to the topic instead of going off on a tangent."