My tragedy had not began

[Bassim]

Would you please correct the following sentences, which are from a text I am currently writing.

My tragedy had not begun with the war but my decision to search refuge by the people whose character is opposite mine. I am fire; they are ice, I am a storm; they are a breeze. I am a scream; they are a whisper. I am a wild river; they are a placed lake.

My impotence was eating me inside, and the only thing I could do was passively watch my suffering as if I was watching a drama without a beginning and an end. For this kind of illness, there was no cure; medicine and therapies were useless. I had no one to turn for help and no one to ask for advice, not because there were no kind people willing to help, but because my problems were beyond this world.

 

[Tarheel]

I think you need to change tenses. Perhaps:

My tragedy did not begin with the war but with my decision to seek refuge with people whose character is the opposite of mine. I am fire; they are ice. I am a storm; they are a breeze. I am a scream; they are a whisper. I am a wild river; they are a placid lake.

 

[Tarheel]

Second paragraph. Perhaps:

My impotence is eating me up inside, and the only thing I can do is passively watch my suffering as if I am watching a drama without a beginning or an end. [Or: as if I am an outside observer.] For this kind of illness there is no cure. Medicine and therapies are useless. I have no one to turn to for help and no one to ask for advice, not because there are no kind people willing to help but because my problems are beyond this world.

 

[Tarheel]

Bassim, you're a poet!