[Essay] My Self

[IAmActive]

Below is an essay written by my Facebook friend. I and him hope you correct his mistakes and suggest changes on it, for both of us to benefit from your comments. Thanks in advance,, )



I am Dangrou, and my age is twenty nine. I am male and single. Being a Sudanese, I am black. I am christian. I live away from my family but in my own country, exactly in Juba. I work for a small company as a civil engineer.

I was born and grown up in Nimule , which is located on the Sudan-Uganda border. It’s a small and very simple village. Three things can summarize the life in Nimule: the War, grazing sheep and singing. But I had added one extra thing when I was living there, the study.

My family consists of five members: I , my parents and two lovely sisters. None of my parents work in official works, but both of them do free business to make money. My older sister, who is four years older than me, has got married very early, and now she is a mother of three children. As for my younger sister, who is two years younger than me, she has completed her studies and graduated, and is now a teacher of Art Education.

I can say that I dedicated my life to work, but even though, I don't deny my feelings of loneliness and boredom. Probably because I am still unmarried, and because I live away from my family. I like to walk, watch movies, play computer games and learn new things.

I believe that friendship is one of the important values in human’s life. So I have a whole lot of friends, and I believe that they have played an important role in making me so happy. I will do my best to keep my friends who are the secret of happiness.




..

 

[Tarheel]

I am Dangrou, and I am twenty nine. I am male and single. Being a Sudanese, I am black. I am Christian. I live away from my family but in my own country, in Juba, Sudan. I work for a small company as a civil engineer.

I was born and raised in Nimule , which is located on the Sudan-Uganda border. It’s a small and very simple village. Three things can summarize [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] life in Nimule: the War, grazing sheep and singing. But I [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] added one [STRIKE]extra[/STRIKE] thing while I was living there: studying.

My family consists of five members: I, my parents and two lovely sisters. Neither of my parents work in official works, but both of them do free business to make money. My older sister, who is four years older than me, [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] got married very early, and now she is a mother of three children. As for my younger sister, who is two years younger than me, she has completed her studies and graduated, and is now a teacher of Art Education.

I don't know what you mean by "official works". Also, how do you make money doing free business? And what is free business?

 

[IAmActive]

In fact, I don't know what he means. But I think that he used (official works) to express the known sorts of jobs like governmental and companies-related jobs. I definitely know that he used (free business) to refer to jobs like taxi driver, private teacher, etc.

 

[emsr2d2]

I suggest that you tell your friend to join this forum and he can ask his own questions.

 

[Tarheel]

In fact, I don't know what he means. But I think that he used (official works) to express the known sorts of jobs like governmental and companies-related jobs. I definitely know that he used (free business) to refer to jobs like taxi driver, private teacher, etc.

The only way "official works" makes sense to me is if it refers to some kind of government job. I still don't know what "free business" is supposed to mean. (I suggest that you stop using that term. Also, take emsr2d2's advice.)