My role model

[keannu]

Title : My role model
My role model is William Henry Gates 3 who is known as Bill Gates.
He was the CEO of Microsoft and he developed Windows.
Bill Gates is my role model because he is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world.
The reason I respect him is because he was a great programmer and a donator.
It was he that developed Windows, which is used worldwide.
Also, he donated billions of dollars to help people suffering from poverty and disease.
What I have learned from him is that to get people`s respect, one should help others.
Many people respect him because he donated a lot of his money through Bill & Melinda gates foundation.
My dream is to become a programmer like him and developing something useful that can make people’s life more convenient.
To resemble him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
=====================================

If you find something awkward or wrong, please correct them. Thank you!

 

[jutfrank]

What I have learned from him is that to get people`s respect, one should help others.

Is this really the lesson you have learned? Do you really think that the reason to help people is so that people will respect you?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

[STRIKE]Title :[/STRIKE] My Role Model

First paragraph:

My role model is William Henry Gates III, who is known as Bill Gates. He was the CEO of Microsoft, and he developed Windows. Bill Gates is my role model because he is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world. The reason I respect him is because he was a great programmer and a philanthropist.

[STRIKE]It was he that[/STRIKE] Windows[STRIKE], which[/STRIKE] is used worldwide. (You have already said he developed Windows. Don't say it twice. Move this line up to follow "and he developed Windows" above.)

[STRIKE]Also, [/STRIKE]He donated billions of dollars to help people suffering from poverty and disease. (The line before this says he is a donor, so "Also" doesn't make sense.)

Second paragraph:

What I have learned from him is that to get people's respect, one should help others. Many people respect him because he donated a lot of his money through the Bill and Melinda gates foundation. My dream is to become a programmer like him and develop something useful that can make people’s life more convenient.
To emulate him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
=====================================

If you find something awkward or wrong, please correct it. Thank you!

Order your sentences logically. Always organize them into paragraphs.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Is this really the lesson you have learned? Do you really think that the reason to help people is so that people will respect you?

Keannu, you'll be interested in knowing about Maimonides. He did not think that gaining respect is a good reason to give. He said that the two highest forms of giving are:

- Giving when neither the donor nor the recipient is aware of the other's identity. (Bill Gates tells the whole world what he gives to, and he always knows whom he is giving to.)

- Giving money, a loan, your time or whatever else it takes to enable an individual to be self-reliant. (Bill Gates has sometimes done this. But sometimes, in his business dealings, he has done the opposite.)

So Maimonides taught that the best giving is anonymous and makes change. Here is his giving ladder: Maimonides

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

He has donated billions of dollars to help poor people and sick people.

(Bill Gates is still alive as of this moment.)

Perhaps:

Many people respect him because he has generously helped a lot of people through the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

My dream is to become a developer like him and develop something useful that will make people's [lives] more convenient.
:?:

Perhaps:

My dream is to be a developer like Bill Gates and develop something that will make life better for many.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

. . . (Bill Gates is still alive as of this moment.) . . .

Good point. Change that was to is, Keannu!

 

[keannu]

Order your sentences logically. Always organize them into paragraphs.

1.To emulate him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
2.To resemble him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
Tester's question: What kinds of efforts have you been making to resemble your role model?

Does it make sense to say "to resemble him" as in 2? After your correction, I thought it doesn't as "resemble" is a state verb which doesn't go with an active action.
But the tester's question includes "to resemble your role model". Please let me know if it makes sense.
Does

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

1.To emulate him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
2.To resemble him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
Tester's question: What kinds of efforts have you been making to resemble your role model?

Does it make sense to say "to resemble him" as in 2? After your correction, I thought it doesn't as "resemble" is a state verb which doesn't go with an active action.
But the tester's question includes "to resemble your role model". Please let me know if it makes sense.
Does

Interesting question. You're right, and not just because resemble is a state verb. Resemble is also unlikely because of the context. To resemble him, you would not study math. You would dress like him and wear your hair like he does.

Both are certainly possible. But do you see why emulate is more likely? How many people try to to emulate Ghandi or Mother Teresa? How many try to resemble them?

 

[Tarheel]

1.To emulate him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
2.To resemble him, I have been studying math so that I can major in programming in college.
Tester's question: What kinds of efforts have you been making to resemble your role model?

Does it make sense to say "to resemble him" as in 2? After your correction, I thought it doesn't as "resemble" is a state verb which doesn't go with an active action.
But the tester's question includes "to resemble your role model". Please tell me if it makes sense.

Well, if you want to be like somebody in that you did similar things and were highly successful, then you want to emulate them. If you want to look like that person you want to resemble them.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

By the way, what tester are you talking about? What is the test? Are you required to use resemble? How?

And since we're discussing it, I'm also wondering why you think resemble is a state verb but emulate isn't.

 

[jutfrank]

Does it make sense to say "to resemble him" as in 2?

I'll repeat what Charlie Bernstein and Tarheel have already said: No, it's the wrong word, because it means 'look like'. The tester should have used emulate.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Keannu, do you see why resemble is wrong?

 

[tzfujimino]

The reason I respect him is because he was ...

I prefer "The reason I respect him is that he was ..."

 

[keannu]

By the way, what tester are you talking about? What is the test? Are you required to use resemble? How?

And since we're discussing it, I'm also wondering why you think resemble is a state verb but emulate isn't.

The test is a school one and resemble is a state verb as described in a grammar book while emulate seems to be an action one.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

The test is a school one and resemble is a state verb as described in a grammar book while emulate seems to be an action one.

That doesn't answer the question. Are you required to use resemble in that sentence? Aren't you allowed to use emulate? Why not?

Can you share the question with us? That might shed more light.